1880-03-05; Clare County Press

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VOLUME II.
CLARE, MICHIGAN, FE/DAY, MARCH 5, 1880.
NUMBER 44.
WH HOT?
BY ALVI2T C. CASWELL.
Js
In spring-time when the warbling
Of the birds is heard alway,
hall we not enjoy their singing
In the balmy air, I pray?
Why not?
When flowers their leaves unfolding.
Bursting into nature's bloom,
Shall we not, the hours beguiling,
Thus enjoy their sweet perfume?
Why not?
In summed when hill and valley
Are arrayed in living green,
When the days are warm and sultry,
We'll enjoy the cooling stream.
*■ ■ Why not?
When fhe dewdrops kiss the flowers
As they raid© their tiny heads,
We will seek the rosy bowers
By some guardian angel led,
Why not?
In autumn, when the leaves are falling,
And mosquitoes fill the air,
When luscious fruit is ripening,
We'll partake of dainty fare.
Why not?
When the music of the water
iLaughing comes from brook and stream,
•Vhen the golden harvests totter,
May we not of plenty dream ?
Why not?
In winter, when cold and chilly,
And the snowflakes fill the air,
We will help the poor and needy—
They shall of our bounty share.
Why not?
When the hoary frosts of winter
Blanch the fields and fill the adr,
When ihe Christmas dinner's ready,
May I meet my loved ones there.
Why hot?
Thawville, IU.
•A'ERDBHB M BEEB*
BY HARRIET E.  S. CRESSY.
" * Over the hills to the poor-house.'
There, that is just my case," said old
Mrs. Williams, taking o her glasses
and laying aside the paper that c©n-
tained the poem alluded to.
"Not quite so bad as that," replied
the neighborly friend whom she addressed.
" Well, I expect it will come to that;
next month I have got to be toted
down to my daughter's, in Jersey. You
know I stay two years with Betsy, here,
and then two years with Emily. I
have done that ever since my son
moved off West. He said at the time
he went I could go with him, but he
knew that would be impossible, with
my feeble health, so it was safe to make
me the offer. When .our farm was sold
in Jersey, he took th'e money, came
laerGf to York State., bought a farm£ th©
W>_
Jfe.
3Z&1
lives, and had the deed made out' in
his own name. He had no right
to do it, of course; and why the girls
and I allowed Hm to is now a mystery
to me; for they should have shared
equally with him, and I been allowed
the use of a third; and, then, my two
boys in California should have had
something. But we were all so foolish
, v as to allow that selfish Cal to get it
-4, into Hs own hands. The girls got married, or I cannot say how they would
have got along, and I am left on their
hands."
" Don't he send you any money to
help yourself with?"
"No, not a cent; he has got a wife
that would prevent Hs doing that, if
she could, even if he were inclined to.
She treated me shamefully the little
time I lived with her, before they
moved West. She little realized or
cared how hard I worked to help earn
the property she was then living on.
With house work, dairy, six children—
one of whom died when he was 12
years old—to take care of, never having
any Hred help within doors, but one or
two Hred men to cook for a good part
of the year, I generally had plenty of
work to do. For months together, in
spring and summer, I arose at 4 in the
morning, and was so hurried tMough
the whole day that I could not find
time to sit down long enough to comb
my hair until 9 in the evening. And
after that hour I often had about an
hour's work to do before I could ietire.
We always had a good deal of company, too, and a schoolmarm and schoolmaster to board five or six weeks, each,
during the year; for it was then the
fasHonfor teachers to board around,
particularly in the rural districts. I
know I thought it something of a tax
to put up teachers' and children's dinners so many weeks in the year, and
what I remember as one of
my worst tasks was going around
•^ into the cold rooms in winter—
for we never kept but one fire—and
making up five or six beds. It is almost a wonder the little children did
not freeze, sleeping in those great cold
rooms; but I did my best to try to keep
them comfortable, going around to
their rooms every night and tucking up
the bed-clothes, until they were fairly
grown up. My husband used to tell
me I made a slave of myself for my
children, but I did it with a free will,
and would do the same again if I were
to live my life over again. When my
little boy died I know I nearly mourned
myself to death; and then how glad I
was I had always tried to make Hm so
happy and comfortable. And then,
when the other two boys went off to
CaliforHa, I was glad I had been so
good and motherly to them. They
were young, one 16 and the other 18.
It seemed almost like burying them to
let them go; but their father thought
it might be the best for them in the
end. But he did not live long enough
afterward to know whether they were
successful or not, having died in less
than a year after they went. They have
now been there six years, have both
married, and write that they do not
much more than make a good living."
"Don't they ever send you any money,
either?"
"No, they don't know but I have plenty to be comfortable, as I have never
written them about Cal's unkind behavior.
"I should write and tell them about
it, Mrs. Williams, for I should say he is
the greatest scamp outside of prison
walls "
"Only selfish, Mrs. Blandon, that is
all," replied the poor old lady, tears
gushing from her eyes.
"Well, do your two California boys
write you kind and frequent letters?"
"They do not write very often, having families of their own to care for,
but write kindly, though not as I do to
them."
"I am glad I never had any children,
Mrs. Williams. I believe my money
serves me better."
"If you had them you woald find
them inexpressibly dear to you."
"No doubt I would, but I would want
them all girls. I believe a daughter is
a daughter all her life; and a son is a
son till he gets him a wife."
"My daughters are very kind to me,"
said the old lady.
"And their husbands?" asked Mrs.
Blandon.
"Well, Betsy's husband is a good
sort of a man, you know, and is kind in
Hs way. But the one in Jersey, Emily's husband, would rather I were anywhere else than there; ten to one if he
speaks to me after I get there; but I
have to go, or else, 'over the hills to the
poor-house." Here the poor woman
burst out crying. " But Emily likes to
have me with her, and I think I do her
a great deal of good by taking care of
the children, and doing the light work,
but he—well, I suppose it would be better if I were dead and out of the way,
and I sometimes think the end is not
far off."
"I hope it is a good ways off." said
her friend, "and, now that I have heard
your story, wMch is really a pitiable one,
I will make you an offer. You know,
Mrs. Williams, I am quite alone, with
the exception of the servant girl I keep,
and am sufficiently well off to give
somebody a home; and now, if you will
come and live with me the ensuing two
years, instead of going back to Jersey
to encounter sour looks, you "shall be
perfectly welcome. Indeed, I will consider it a favor to have you with me,, as
I* am ip want of your genial company;
"1«l iit skuzyg-wss Eaynatexe't^waxiu
SOMQ 6siQ yl^tmu-Mih^^ptoii^'&tl&f
' Mrs. Williams caught hold of the
lady's hand and raised it to her lips, so
delighted was she at the proposal made
to her. "I will come," she said, "and
try to make you just as little trouble as
I possibly . can—oh, thank you—
thanks."
"Do not mention the word trouble
again in connection with your coming.
I am not sure but it is a wholly-selfish
act on my part; I want your company."
"Well, I will try to be as agreeable as
an ignorant old woman like me can be."
"All but the ignorant, Mrs. Williams;
you are as good company as I want."
The terrors of her tour to Jersey now
over, the old lady was the happy of
happiest. Betsy, too, was pleased at
the thought of having her mother so
near her. Mrs. Blandon lived in a
pleasant, grand, old house, luxuriously
furnished, for she was wealthy. The
grounds in summer, with their flowers,
fountains, graveled walks, quiet lawns,
and singing birds, seemed like a paradise to old Mrs. Williams' former way of
living. Then, hearing no words but
the kindliest, besides having been
promised shortly after she went to live
with Mrs. Blandon that she always
should have a home with her, she was
constantly in a frame of mind to offer
thanks to God for giving her so good a
friend. Thus, after raising up her
children, a stranger proved the greater
friend to her.
PlTTSFIELD, Ma?S.
Men of genius were formerly • pardoned for their many infirmities, even
when they were the legitimate offspring
of their bad habits. John Bandolph
had many eccentricities. They were
disagreeable, and often indecent. His
friends said he was partly insane;
others, more candid, said he was drunk.
If he had lived in these days he would
be sent to "Coventry." A writer in the
Atlantic thus sketches him while he
was a United States Senator:
John Bandolph attracted the most
attention on the part of strangers. He
was at least six feet in height, with long
limbs and an ill-proportioned body and
a small, round head.
Claiming descent from Pocahontas,
he wore his coarse black hair long,
parted in the middle, and combed down
on either side of his sallow face.
His small black eyes were expressive
in tneir rapid glances, especially when
he was engaged in debate, andhishigh-
fconed and thin voice would ring
tMough the Seaate Chamber like the
shrill scream of an angry vixen.
He wore a full suit of heavy drab-
colored English broadcloth, the Hgh
rolling collar of his surtout coat almost
concealing his head, while the skirts
hung in voluminous folds about Hs
knee-breeches and the white leather
tops of Ms boots.
Me used tp enter the Senate Chamber
wearing a pair of silver spurs, carrying
a heavy riding-whip, and followed by a
favorite hound, which crouched beneath
his desk.
He wrote, and occasionally spoke, in
riding-gloves, and it was Hs favorite
gesture ta point the long index finger
of his right hand at Hs opponent, as
he hurled forth tropes and figures of
speech at him.
Every ten or fifteen minutes, while
he occupied the floor, he woiiid exclaim,
in a low tone, "Tims, more porter 1"
and the assistant door-keeper would
hand Hm a foaming tumbler of White-
bread's potent malt liquor, wHch he
would hurriedly drink, and then proceed with Hs remarks, of ten thus drinking three or four quarts in an afternoon.
He was not choice in Hs selection of
epithets, and, as Mr. Calhoun took the
ground that he did not have the power
to call a Senator to order, the irate Tir-
giMan pronounced President Adams "a
traitor," DaMel Webster " a vile slanderer," John Holmes "a dangerous
fool," and Edward Livingstone "the
most contemptible and degraded of beings, whom no man ought to touch, unless with a pair of tongs."
One day, while he was speaking with
great freedom of abuse of Mr. Webster,
then a member of the House, a Senator
informed him in an undertone that Mrs.
Webster was in the gallery.
He had not the delicacy to desist,
however, until he had fully emptied the
vials of Hs wrath.
Then he set upon Mr. Speaker Taylor, and, after abusing Hm soundly, he
turned sarcastically to -the gentleman
who had informed Hm of Mrs. Webster's presence, and asked, "Is Mrs,
Taylor present, also?"
What Saved Jackson.
Mr. S. Park Baker, of Yourigstown,
N. Y., after having read a current 'account of the Jackson-Dickinson duel,
thus writes to a friend in Kentucky*;
There is one feature about tHs duel
with Dickinson, however, that seems n
little peculiar, and that is that Gen.!
Jackson, who was a very spare man in ,
Hs person, should have been dressed '
in & loose-fitting gown or coat, so -that'
Hs antagonist could not readily tell'tlis ,
location of his body.   Dickinson aimed ;
right, and if Jackson's body had been j
where Dickinson supposed it was, aad i
where, perhaps, the code duello w&Id !
say it ought to have been, there is t-.o
just reason to doubt that Gen. JaelsoOL.
wouid at that time have "passed ia hi:.
checks," for the ball from Dickisro"v
pistol would have struck Ms he&nk i>
BIPHTHE*EIA.
Mov:    a JPrevent the Spread of the Dreaded
in_c
Pf-
di;.v
itofi poi^^HT_S6riit'''*ther^i^dl^^o^_
"Old Hickory," in respect to this duel,
is this: Having dressed himself in a manner to deceive Dickinson as to the precise
location of his (Jackson's) body, and,
having received Dickinson's bullet
without any serious injury, it was not a
just and fair tHng in Jackson afterward
to take deliberate aim at Dickinson and
kill Hm. No matter what the provocation was on the part of Dickinson which
led to the duel, it seems to me that,
having resorted to what was then considered an honorable method of settling the difficulty, they were each
bound to give the other fair play, and
the only excuse or justification I can
find for Gen. Jackson for Hs deliberate
and premeditated killing of Dickinson
is the fact that perhaps, upon generai
principles, Dickinson ought to have
been killed for slandering so upright
and estimable a woman as the wife of
Gen. Jackson. In reading an account
of tHs fight I am reminded of the duel
between John Bandolph and Kentucky's
most illustrious citizen, Henry Clay, in
1826, only the termination of tHs duel
was not so disastrous as the former, and
yet it might have been if Mr. Clay had
not, to some extent, been deceived as to
the location or position of Bandolph's
body, for it was stated by some one that
Mr. Clay remarked after the duel was
over that he might as well shoot at a
pair.of tongs as at Bandolph.
Kuined by a Spidere
Spiders crawling more abundantly
and conspicuously than usual upon the
indoor walls of our houses foretell the
near approach of rain; but the following anecdote intimates that some of
their habits are the equally-certain indication of frost being at hand. Quartermaster Disjonval, seeking to beguile
the tedium of his prison hours at
Utrecht, had studied attentively the
habits of the spider; and eight years of
imprisonment had given him leisure to
be well versed in its ways. In December, of 1794, the French army, on
whose success his restoration to liberty
depended, was in Holland, and victory
seemed certain if the frost, then of unprecedented severity, continued. The
Dutch Envoy had failed to negotiate a
peace, and Holland was despairing,
when the frost suddenly broke. The
Dutch were now exulting, and the
French Generals prepared to retreat;
but the spider warned Disjonval that
the thaw would be of short duration,
and he knew that his weather monitor
never deceived. He contrived to communicate with the army of Hs countrymen and its Generals, who duly esti
mated Hs character, and relied upon
Hs assurance that within a few days the
water would again be passable by
troops. They delayed their retreat.
Within twelve days frost had returned
—the French army triumphed. Disjonval was liberated; and a spider had
brought down ruin on the Dutch nation.       	
Lewis Bogkwell, aged 101 years, is
a citizen of Lackawanna, Pa., who has
applied to the court for a rule to show
cause why his offspring should not
support Hm in his old age. Mr. Bock-
well was for a number of years Sheriff
and also Treasurer of Pike county.
***£ i following circular is issued by
the "'ston Board of Health, for the
pur ^ of more widely extending the
kne -.cSgeofa few well-attested facts
con ling diphtheria, and reminding
all 3,! J.011S that greater care should be
exr ~5d to prevent the spread of this
mm *&6ade'd disease. Its cautions
antl ilirections are good for every local*. •". Diphtheria is contagious and
us, and may be easily communi-
dther directly or indirectly, from
to person. It may be conveyed
' in the act of kissing, coughing,
spi«-vJ> sneezing, or indirectly by in-
f ee'. A articles used, as towels, napkins,
has   TC-rchiefs, etc.
Ar ooison clings with great tenacity
to ; fras, houses, articles of furniture
tern' clothing, and may occasion the
dir D, even after the lapse of months.
3Dir_ ,r,aria attacks all classes, at ail
C3C * 3d at all seasons of the year. By
prr rsace it attacks children and those
x;A *JQ debilitated from exposure to
fir' "ampness or foul air from what-
ev    ' mrce.
Jn a case of diphtheria occurs in
aet -Aily, the sick person should be
p!; 1 in a room apart from the other
nr % of the house, and should be
m I ii, as-far as possible, by one person
©- \ 5?he sick-chamber should be well
v:. - .A;, and exposed to snn light and
Ws. -r..r:ed; its furniture should be sucn
tv_' r': permit of cleansing without in-
- \ 7u:d all extra articles, such as win-
c" •" r^d table drapery, woolen carpets,
rr ;l -bred furniture and all hangings,
c* - "5 he removed from the room dur-
r~r ' .3 sickness. The physician and
: Yj 3 a rule, should be the only per-
r      Emitted to the room,
*** jS-oys to the infected house should
i.\    < Liaed of the presence of a danger-
c        *'jease therein, and children es-
' _     - j should not be admitted.   Ali
■- z, removed from the patient, or
v As. should be at once placed in
T       *   wates.*, or in a tub of disinfect-
:"      f .,d (S op. sulphate zinc, 1 oz. car-
• r -id? and 3 gallons water) by the
x. Ariose heing carried tMough. the
or jiradled hy any other person.
. zzcy 'ba soaked MtHs fluid-for an
j; .-.ivx-fneii placed in boiling water
A-^zA-tA- 'r*2-'irSrMfZ'i<^jMr}P&isV^^^
'tor cleaning the nostrils and mouth, ot
the patient, but rather soft rags, wHch
should be immediately thereafter
burned. All vessels for receiving the
discharges of the patient should constantly contain some disinfecting
fluid,. Water closets and privies in the
house should be disinfected daily with
a solution of copperas—two pounds, to
a gallon of water. Every kind and
source of filth in and around the house
should be thorougMy removed, and disinfectants freely used. Cleanliness
tends both to prevent and mitigate the
disease. Drains should be put in perfect order, and ventilated by a four-inch
straight pipe extended above the highest
point of "the roof of the House in every
instance, terminating at a distance from
any cHmney or other ventilator. Children in the family should not attend
school or mingle with other children
until the patient has wholly recovered,
and all inf epted articles have been disinfected.
On the recovery or death of the patient the most thoiough disinfection
should follow. The room and all articles in it should be at once subjected
to the fumes of burning sulphur as follows : Close the room tightly and burn
two and a half pounds of sulphur to each
one thousand feet of cubic space. After
four or six hours open the room and
expose it to the air and sunlight for a
week. Anything that can be boiled
without injury may be so treated. The
walls and ceilings should be dry rubbed
or lime-washed, and the floors washed
with soap and water, to wHch may be
added a little carbolic acid. When
death occurs the body should be immediately placed- in the coffin, with disinfectants, and the coffin tightly and
finally closed. No public funeral should
ever take place at the house where the
patient died, nor elsewhere, unless the
coffin remains hemetically sealed.
A Romance of Illinois.
It was night.
And such a Hght!
The wind came in savage gusts from
the lurking places on the. broad prairies
that stretched away to the westward,
and howled in mournful cadence the
requiem of the dying year.
Yes, the old year was dying. It
would soon be deader than a smelt, and
she demise of that young fish meant
business.
A young man with flasHng eye and
clear-cut lips, around wMch hovered
the remnants of a cold, cruel smile,
nervously strode across the floor of a
richly-furnished room in one of Chicago's most elegant mansions. For
more than an hour he paced the apartment, never once striking a trofc. This
showed that he was a natural pacer. In
his right hand he held a fciny piece of
paper, which fluttered in the breeze
created by the clip he was going. That
piece of paper was from Penelope Mc
Guire, a proud and haughty beauty,
the only daughter of a man whose demesne was one of the most extensive on
Aberdeen street.
Perhaps she had been giving the
young man the breeze in wHch the
note fluttered.
But, apparently, she hadn't.   *
No, no.   The missive told Hm of her
undying love, and how Hs image was
never absent from her maiden fancy.*
THs looked as if you could bet on the
girl, but who can tell the workings of a
woman's heart?
THs is what bothered the young man
and had set him to pacing. He had
wooed the maid with all the ardent nature of Hs soul and innumerable boxes
of candy.
Was this saccharine margin to be
swept away by a sudden decline of her
love for him.
Not if he knew it.
"'Twas but yester e'en," he said,
"that I saw her boarding a car as the
clocks were striking 8, and yet the
false creature thinks to explain away
her action by saying she was going to
see a sick friend. She little knows that
I saw her bangs, and know full well
that no woman wears them unless she
is going where she can be seen. But
she shall trifle with me no longer; I
will scorn her proffered love"—and he
seated himself at an inlaid ebony .writing desk.
The next day's mail bore to Penelope
the "following missive: ■
Nobuddy can pla me for a sucker. Awa fals
woman andpractis your wiles on anuther.
Geoege.
"Do we need compulsory education?"
ask our public men.
Well,*; I should remark;—Chicag a
Tribune.
SafHT.ES ANJ> XEiLKS.
There is a sense of joy,
So potent and complete,
Which not alone doth show
•A smiling countenance;
But welling dew of tears
In windows of the soul.
There is a sense of grief,
So potent and complete.
Which, not alone,,is shown
' By welli 'g, bitter teats;
But. on the countenance,
The sad, expressive smile.
Such tears and smiles doth yield
Th&ir blessings, as the dew
And light on drooping flowers.
"But crocodile, forced tears,
And satan smiles, ;dpth win
Disaster and contempt.
Kalamazoo,Mich.. TJNOLBlitjxE^
PITH AS© POfflTo
1MJUSTK1EAI. MOTES.
F
Seven machines in Pittsburgh, Pa.,
produced, last year, over 1,063,345 kegs
ofnails.
Sixteen puddling furnaces at the
Altoona rolling mill are running day
and Mght.
The combined length of the new
railroads projected for 1880 will be
9,000 miles.
Steam and horse railroads in tHs
country require 100,000 men to labor
on Sunday.
One firm of Ludington, MicMj^as
purchased 140,000,000 feet of standing
pine timber.        . .   .'
TffEBE are made yearly in Beading
and Berks counties, Pa.,* over 6,000,000
woolen hats.
The West isi not able to supply coke
fast enough for consumption in Eastern
ironfurnaces. \
.The soiling mills of Chicago now'em-
_ L,j ■^'trcK^rZiz^is.i'z-.-.i .^.; t J" .;i£_t
mght and day. \   •""""*'
A siver mine has recently been discovered in Garrett county, Md. The
ore yields $113 to the ton.
The fifteen car-manufacturing establishments in tHs countty turned out
37,350 cars in eleven months.
Arizona has produced a quality of
cotton equal to the Sea Island cotton
from seed brought from CHna.
The lead mines near Phoenixville,
Pa., which have been idle for twenty-
two years, are now being worked.
The Southfield corset-shops at New
Marlboro, Mass., are running night and
day, and are turning out 750 dozen
corsets a week.
The Germans in Paris, who are estimated at 40,000 or 50,000, have established a weekly paper in their own
language.
The packages of tomatoes put up
last year in the United States reach the
total of 19,968,000, of which New Jersey
put up 5,592,000 cans.
It is estimated that 50,000 men and
women are employed ih PhiladelpHa
in the manufacture of clothing, making
20,000,000 suits a year.
Chicago's lumber receipts the past
year have been greater by 25 per cent.,
and her shipments by 15£ per cent.,
than in any previous year.
The Delaware rolling mill, at Phil-
lippsburg, N. J., wHch has been idle
for many years, is again in operation
under a new management.
Illinois farm products amounted to
$200,000,000 last year, which is double
the product of all the gold and silver
mines in the United States.
The grape islands of Lake Erie have
4,000 acres of vines, and the yield in
1879 was 16,000,000 pounds. The wine
product was 1,526,400 gallons.
Chicago packed last year 5,100,000
hogs, being an increase of 10 per cent,
over 1878, and 75 per cent, over 1877.
Over 10,000 men are employed.
All the iron mines in the State of
New Jersey are being worked thoroughly, and ten of her fifteen blast furnaces
are running, with three to be lighted
up soon.
Manufacturing clotHng in CHeago
gives employment to 30,000 people, and
the value of the goods made is $15,000,-
000. This industry has doubled in
four years.
Less than fifty years ago one man
could make over fourteen pins a minute;
now he can make over 1,400. Then one
girl could stick on papers about 10,000
pins a day; now a fair day's work is
from 800,000 to 1,000,000.
A Lesson.
Old X. lectures Hs nephew, a confirmed gambler. "Then you never
played, did you, uncle?" "Yes, once, in
1847, at Baden. A gentleman whom I
didn't know proposed a game of ecarte
at 10 francs. I was weak enough to
agree; he lost ten games." "Then you
must have won 100 francs." "Yes, I won
them; that is so; but I might have lost
them, and I have never touched a card
since; it was a lesson."
ENouGH'fbr a scent—A penny cigte.
A deceiving age—Sausage.
"My wedding trip," said the, groom,
as. he stumbled ever the bride's train.
A deer park—One' th&t costs merer
than it is worth.
The man at the helm has a stern duty.
to perform.
What he^ealls his adored Sarah-—A
Sally of wit.   . ■ : .     ...■.•:*
A' philosopher says*:.  You require *
in marriage precisely the same quality
that you would iii eating sausages—absolute confideinc'e.
This is simple medical advice for
curing a pimple: " First hold the pimple over a slow fire until it comes to a
boil; then4 bust'it.".
Indignant wife—-"If- I- had--khown
you were coming home in tHs condition, I should have gone home*to my
father's." Inebmted husbajid—*Hic—•
would you? I'm awf soity. didtft shentl-
you word—He.55
A dealer in musical instruments, im
one Hs advertisements, declares thafc
Hs drums, among other articles that •ha-
has for sale, "can't be beat.* Will h'&
be kind enought© tell us what thej aa©
good for, then?
■f'WHAT a beautiful sight J" exeMmeS.
Mrs. Jones, rapturously? as she. lookecS
over the "beautiful scenery from a Pean-
sylvaniar railroad ~ car. "Yes/', replied
Jones,- without raising Hs eyes from Ms
papeE, "anthracite*."
An Albany woman brings suit sgdocfe.
a telephone company for trespass in
.putting its wires* on- the-sooS-of iieir
-.bTiildia^   It- isn't thf-' "'*-"• '"^ **V>\/-
S"       *-- ZlT6 C ■'•   ■'-■ *--l i ^'-
fact that there is gossip going oh ©Vec
her head that she cannot get hold of.
Paxbick: and Biddy were engaged,
And time set to be niarrled;
But Biddy flirted, Pat got mad,
And so the plan miscarried.
Ihen Biddy soothed her wounded heart,
And was to Michael wed;
Michael fpll down between two cars
Arid home was carried dead.
"That was a lucky 'scape," said Pat,
" Fur if I'd married Biddy
I would have been in Michael's place,
And she'd have been my widdy."
A well-husbanded lady is now re
siding in the State of Arkansas. She
is 65 years of age, and is now living
with that outrageous man who has assumed the position of being her fourteenth husband! It is said that in the
hall of her house are thirteen pegs,
upon each of wHch hangs a hat duly
labeled as the property of each of the
defunct husbands. It must take considerable courage "to hang up your
hat" in that hall.
A scientist asserts that" the aggregation of bioplastic germs evidence an
irresistible tendency to correllate their
molecules in inverse ratio to the capillary processes of differentiation." THs
will not affect these young men who
swore off on New Year's and intend
to keep their pledge, but to those persons who are wasting their substance in
beer, draw-poker, hot toddies, pool, and
other intoxicating beverages it is a terrible warning, lt must be a dreadful
thing to have one's moleeules correlated,.etc.—Norristown Herald.
A bunch of flowers
A book or two,
A little billing,
A little coo,
A little coming
And going, till
They go to church
And say " I will."
And that ends it.—Salem, Sunbeam,.
Young man. you're wrong—
Tou surely are;
You woikea that rhyme
Just one too far.
It ends right there—
Oh! no, it don't,
For coming home
She says: "I won't!"
And that begins it.—Elmira Gazette.
A Wooden Watcho
A North Carolina paper, the Abingdon Standard, has the following:
"Some, time ago Mr. E. A. Johnson, of
Johnson Brothers, jewelers, of this
place, made a plain, open-face, wooden
watch that attracted a great deal of attention, but was subsequently eclipsed
by Mr. Doriot, of Bristol, in a watch
somewhat more elaborate in design.
Not to be outdone, Mr. Johnson put to
work on another watch, and has turned
out a handsome double-case stem-winder and stem-setter, every piece of
wMch, save the main and hair springs
and crystal, are of wood and made entirely by his own hands. Even the
springs to the cases are made of wood
It keeps splendid time, and is sufficiently strong to be used as a pocket
time-keeper. It is of ordinary size, and
when ornamented, as ne expects to do,
will be a handsome tribute to Hs skill
and ingenuity.
Talmage has discovered the great
trouble about church work. He says
that when you see one CMistian hard
at work there are fifty others watching,
and trying to boss the job.