1880-09-10; Clare County Press

              JVOV1USB, MATl   I  «jo  AWI> Jt'I-AV J
DV-KTXIB M. «0WOW,
Hotter, may I go nud play?
Darllim moflior, »y i may;
Get my Jiat wiUi widest brim,
mm.um uiisji my .UUiyumig
lot pie be it child to-dny—
Mother, may I go nud play?
Mother, may I so and nlay J
Tell mo not I'm old to-dny,
Hpeals not now of friends untrue.
Jiet wo lip 8 child to you.
* would throw eaeh burden down,
AU life e cures aud sorrows drowu
*u that jna«io childhood lay—
ajother, may t go and play 1
Mother, may 1 go SBd play ?
I'm ro weary nrowu to-day I
I have long Ilfo'n burdens Wno,
vt hen of romance tho' wore shorn;
i.ovo proved lake una hcuu untrue,
Joi-time failed and frleuda wero few;
now 1 oast them all a\vay~
Slother, may I go and play ?
Mother, may 1 go and play?
Jnlrcr Bowern will b'.ooin to-day,
brighter gleam the golden Jlifht,
Sweeter bo my dreams to-ulght;
Chtldhood'a faith vvUI come aaaiii,
Hinuilo trust shall ease nil iiaiu,
when to-nlgtitwo Impel and iiruy—
Mother, may I go and litay 1
I-ASDON, 111,
VOLUME III.
CLARE, MICHIGAN, Fll#AY;  SEPTEMBER 10, 18S0
NUMBER 19.
'JTJWE I.Oft.tl OF gslVMS.
All day, all night, I oan hear tho Jar
Of the loom of life, and near and far
lt thrills with ita deep and nuifttcd sound,
As tireless the wheels go always round.
HiiRily, censeloasly goea tho loom,
In the light of day and the midnight's gloom ;
And tho wheels are turning early uud lato,
Aud tho woof iB wound in the warp of fate.
flllck, ellck!—there's a thread of love woven In;
Cllctr, click .'—another of wrong and ain;
"Whut a checkered thing Oils life will he
When wo seo it unrolled in eternity !
t\ hen shall UiIb woudcrf ul -web bo done?
In a thouaaud years, perhaps, or one,
Or to-morrow!  Wh i knowoth ?  Not you nor I;
But tho wheels turn oa and tho shuttles fly.
All, nail-eyed weavers, tlie yoars are slow,
Rut eaeh one is nearer t'10 end, I kuow;
And sow thn last thread shall be woven iu—
O-id grant it Im love Instead ef sin.
Are we rphmeraof g(wl In this life-welt—fay 1
H.-t we f imilsh the weaver a thread eaeh duv 1
H went better, thi>n, O, mv friends, to spin"
A beautiful thread than a thread of sin.
courtship in proxy.
"Indeed!" said tho doncon's wife. I
luiew by that slio hadn't hoard a -word
ive lintl been saying.
"Why, yes,"' 1 repeated, a good deal
discouraged, foi- I saw I must begin
again at the very beginning—"she is
more than 101) years old, and entirely
destitute. Yet s'lie did not complain tif
nnything but the cold. She avus former-
ly a slave in Kentucky, but somehow
sstrayed nniiy np h-.nv, and now has out-
Jived everybody tint ever belonged to
ltor, If I eould manage to get her in
the Colored Woman's Home for the rest
tif her life, I should be glad. But, us she
isn't a resident of the city, it vvill be
necessary fo pay her board. A dollar a
week, Mrs. Hoyt thinks it is."
"Certainly, that would be tho best
thing to lie done," replied Mrs. Deacon,
waking up ft Httle. "Still, I don't know
what we can do until we have called a
meeting of the society."
That was much like her !   If the vestry had been on fire, she would have ! 1"'
stopped to cull u meeting of the society I fathers
iwtvat   she   would   have   ventured   lo
ttu-ow ou a dipper of water.
"But tlie poor creature is freezing
und starving," said I, impatiently.
"Ctvn't you, as President of the society, empower me to give her at least
ono o( thtwe woolen sacks we have on
hand?"
"I don't know but I might go as fin
ing tlia creak and crank of tho wheels
more thnn usual, ns though the machine needed oiling, tho front gate
slammed, and steps came along up tlie
walk.
j "I knowed some ono was corring.
I've knowed all day some ono was talking of coming," snid Gitty Pullon, who,
"to accommodate," as she often told us,
had kindly consented to rulo over our
kitchen and us with a rod of pino in tho
form of a crutch).
As Gitty had no home, no money, and
only one foot of her own, but as good as
four ears and two tongues, it might
seem sometimes that the accommodation
was two-sided, Howevor, things aro
uot whnt they seem.
" I knowed it was Mr. CoriiRs V pursued Gitty, triumphantly, as grandfather opened the door and disclosed the
figures of our minister and lus wifo. "I
oan toll hii step as far off as I can hoar
it. Did you ever uotico his eyos ?" sho
continued. "Tliey look like two'holes
burned in a blanket. And he holds his
head jusfc liko Deacon Shackelford's old
white horse."
' ad then sho disappeared in tho
kitchen with her crutch and the cat,
while Aunt Susannah put in her teeth,
put ou her blaek silk apron, and went
with her meeting stop info tho parlor
"Dear child," sho said tenderly,
"when you havo seen a few more of the
tips and dowus of life, yon will think
more of n good man's love than you -will
of theso outside manners. Mr, Brodhead
told me ho had beon in this strait to
some of our mutual friends, but ho supposed thoy had not spoken with you.
And wo must not judge him by the
Btandaul wo woidd apply to some* people. Ho is shrinking to timorousuess,
especially with ladies. And ho says ho
is conscious thnt ho always appears his
worst beforo yon. Poor man I I've,
seen him sit at church with liis eyes"
fixed on the-ribbon of your but, ns it
fluttered a littlo in tho wind, and looked
so hungry and so hopeless, my heart just
ached for him."
This timo my face flushed with anger
ns well ns. sh turn o.
*' I fee) Jiuniilinted, Annt Kent," m«d
I. "I hope nobody else has seen him
make such a silly spectacle of himself."
" Bella, my dear, you are wrong," interposed Aunt Kent, gently. "We must
take people as they are, not as wo would
havo mndo them. iTho man is cast in a
delicate, sensitive mold, mid this is nearly or quite a matter of life or death with
SABBATH BEADING.
Every Cloud In Silvery l.litxl.
When my freed spirit hath risen to God,
Aud you lay me to resthenoath tho cold sod,
Rejoice tliat for me life's trials are done,
My pi grlwags ended, tho victory won.
Though rugged tho pathway my feet havo trod,"*!
lt loadcth to heayen, tohomo and Ood. !l
I kuow when tho cross I lay down, Vi
1 shall tako up the starry crown. I
Though clondlofa loom up lo darken my sky, .|',
Thoy will rift aivay as -tho sun shimmers by. •**
Then, O i my soul, be thou resigned, "*
For overy cloud Is Bllvery lined.
Ottawa, 111. Whepino TViwoir. >j
•.Kliis Christian,
Over tho soul of the Christian a hoi;
tranquillity sheds its JuBtor horo bright*
than  is   seen elsewhere in the worlt]
His soul is unruffled by the daily croi
of lifo,   A spirit of pence prevails.-,
looks iiot upon, the tilings -prj**«tiv; W<^;
things to como.    3?ho«.»oiuof tho enrtl
riches, is, except in a very fow cases of
-religious, conviction,  tho rarest  of nil
forms of self-socrifico.   So different, in-
ijl cjeed, is tho disconsolate talk of tha well-
:|s to-do *rom thw actual condition that
tho world suspects them of a little hypocrisy, or of intention to avert envy by
simply declaring what is unquestionably
false, tho equality of all earthly- conditions.     "Dives is  snd  with wealth,"
Sighs the man with too little, "but how
•I wish I lind a touch of = his complaint!"
fow men, indeed, have boldly declared
Q^Cgretsof wealth to bo pretenses,
,d hnva asserted that thoy enjoy gain-
rt and leaping monoy. Yory few men,
*--■*   part jvtiilx .-vfeiatlth xohmtarily,
J&w*p<»ve 'tlio Courage- to
'jvtm-^f.^ny faculty*or,
_ _    etifc .-tliat pHfb fft-it
its Kny'distinction tends to rniso ; bnt
o bolievo tho constant deprecation of
■tho j
,$>VMVW%i
nestffiinooro Ctii-istinn man rejoices not!F° lw"ev<-        . „-,*■,,
ia doing his fellow-men injury, but iri]I«Kv'd,U0 w which the woll-oif inaulgo as
doing them good.   The backbiter is dis4,j.ot ft ^rV°P^V-   ?1*Y ^8, or ninny of
carded for tlio peacemaker.   The grenjj/ 3"ejn «ie, failures m tho offoct of
Rowland Hill, who. whon in a trieW *c"ilh lmon lllt'rasol™B- ftnd °™
honso, heard a scandal freely pnssclr
about his neighbor, ealled for u dust)
pan nnd brush nnd began to sweep thes
him. "1 doubt if you are loved again by j itoor','"saying":   "My "friends,   a' pro-l
so worthy a man, and I am suro you will j tligi0Us quantity of dust has been ecuH
not be any moro sincerely.   I hopo you
Wheu I followed her, soon after, I found j will not be so misguided as to'throw
her talking in ns steady allow as the away such a treasure, only for a romantic
waters enmo down  nt Lodore to Mrs.   tcotion,"
Corliss, who snt by tho woodbine win-      I could not laugh nt Aunt Kent's ten-
dow, with hands folded in ber black net-   der earnestness, but I shook my head
ted mitts across her lap, and her tea- j and felt immovable from the bump of
colored curls shaking tlieir heads, an it! firmness down to my boot soles.   And j
were, nt the world nnd its vanities; while   thus ended the third lesson. I
grandfather, who had been senior deacon ; Weeks after this, one day iu the j
for fifty years, and who had no idea even " dawning of the year," when the bees
the church edifice could stand without I hummed and the lilacs bloomed, I went
hini, wns already in deep discussion with j out to dig blood-root whero tho road ran
Mr. Corliss upon the question then nb- : through a bit of woodland, a Utile north
sorbuig nnd disturbing us, ns to whether of the villttfre. Beenuse if wo didn't need
our Sabbath-sehool should hereafter be it, somebody might, nud Aunt Susannah
called a Sunday-school. ] considered a few roots and herbs "so
resen t-
ious
tered this evening; I trill try nnd sweeps
it nwny,"   They took the hint thus soV
perfeetly given,    Tho things of time de-
sorvo tho attention of overy mnn and;'*
woman, but tho  things of  Iho  grenl'
eternity deserve n greater portion.   Lifei
is but a fleoting vapor that nppoareth for'
a littlo white, then vauu-hoth away f orever. j.
Wns man endowed with ail tho high niwT
noblo faculties which he possesses jus{
to remain a few uncertain years in this
transitory world,  and then pass awny
} forever and bolostin oblivion ?   Ah! no;*
*-
i
,     'i"10"01'11} ! man was born for a high and nobler dos-f
Beenuse if wo duln t need | tiny.   When tho things of this world pass ■
awny tvo want somo firm, everlasting
rock whereon tvo can stand.    Toko the
ungodly man—watch him in hia daily.
" I.enn never consent to have a relig- ] lmudv to have iu the house."   1'
m^SSe^'snS^lt:! | !^ ^SZT^^U^^^^ • ^°? "" " ^ °f ^1^*1 husband, whowas vtiy f^e in the use of
name
heard him say half n hundred times be
fore.
And Mr. Corliss, with his serene, white
hend bent toward him, was thinking how
Brodhend.    To this day I
how he cnuie there.    It was as though
he had shot up like a field lily, right out
stood Mr. j Hf0 0f aiisery, g0 t0 Sponlc,    Svhiie W
cannot tell j indulces in unholv wleaxmv
indulges iu unholy plensures his heart
pnina liim, nnd conscience, tho secret-
monitor whoso warnings nro so often
,,  ,    .,  • ,,,,-•,•    _ ; »f «"* fn-tnma, anil lip stood vrithhiK t*yt*s I disreffardcd, Bi>caUa to lum nud^ljspei^
eould liraid m one of tho fossilized ; dropped shyl.v ns a girl's nnd Jits hand-   bo u Christian.   Verily thero is no pence
nnd the versatile sons  of the | some lips trembling,   I pitied him id.
church, | most ns much as Aunt Kent hnd done.
So there was nothing for me to do but
to sit nnd smile and Kate
father nnd Aunt Susannah
persons to yield the floor when it was  in  jerks,   like  water running from a
once theirs by priority. ' straight-necked bottle, nnd looking aud
io the wicked.
pence,
Tho Christian man is a
br me to do but      "It will kill me if I don't speak, and ! i,](y jj,^ j;,^ wj|
ten; for grand- j it will kill me if I do,  and you don't I ]0v0  nnd "servo
ill were not the : listen," said he, throwing out his words j What wonld tho tt
'go
sis that, though I suppose it isn't exact1,
in ordor," return,>d the deacon's wife,
leaning bnek in her chair, and sniooth-
inif the table-cover between her thumb
runt linger.
She seemed to be meditating, so I
waited for a minute, nnd then sdie said,
abruptly:
" Wimt do you think ot Mr. Brodhend, Bella?"
"tEhexei X sliouldu'tjt wonder &*!«}
■wtKild givo us something!" I exclaimed,
going down on my knees in my heart to
the deacon's wife for my injustice. " He
is a man of menus, and* a generous mau,
I're always heard."
The deacon's wife looked puzzled.
light unto  tho world; nnd others, soe-"
:--"■'^ ,! ■" L    iU bo prevailed onto
tho  Christinu's God.
world hnvo been to nnyi
without   tho   Christian   religion ?   Iff
"Mr. Corliss, is it not time for us io ' denly at me with such pathetic feeling hTufemW ^ThoT^eViToeonlo^i
,?•• s-iid Mrs. Corliss, nt early star-ris-   in hfs great brown eye,, Lit I began to j ™ JS^ who destroy thdr ^lfves|
' is getting to bo fearful—and  why is"*
"Oh, vour old coloted vmunn !" said ■ perior way that, though I really loved
she, directly.    " I wasn't thinking about i our minister's wife, I always felt a sense
her; I wns "thinking of nm.    Mr. Brod- ; <>f R"ilt, nnd never at home with Ikt.
head has a verv higli opinion of you,       But it seemed it wns uot that I had
Bella,    Did you know it'!''
"Whnt do you mean, Mrs. Shackelford ?" snid I, as surprised us though the
great in-own eye,? tnat l iiegan
feel abashed.    For whnt wns I Hint he
should bo so stirred by me ?
" Vou couldn't care any for me, I sup-'
pose ?" said Mr, Brodhend, humbly.
" Perhaps I might, I don't know," I i
neplied, almost iuvoluiunrity.
" Dear me!"   But n love story sounds !
so diilereut when n mnn tells it himself. ,
And ro, presently, it wns I who trembled nnd cast down my eyes and blushed: j
and it wns Mr. Brodhend wlio looked ]
tmg.-ro«J*rtsthaig■'■{ te p«>itS*n ho "Wtwr-iffiStci?--Of. tho *wMItf*j
:eiver ns of refusing j world nnd tho stars besides. j
Annt Susannah, waiting behind the f
woodbine window, thought I wns gnth- [
ering herbs to stock a pharmacy, for the j
sun had dropped behind the cedars on !
the top of Mount Margaret when I went'
home with Mr. Brodhend by my side,
my h mds empty, but my heart full.
Xi-.i, we nre engaged, nnd nro to be
mntried two weeks trom next Wednesday.
And the moral of my .story i.s this:   " If t
go;  if
ing, with her measured dignity.
"Certainly, my dear," replied  Mr.
Corliss, rising nt once, with his head
j still lient to catch grandfather's Inst sen-
' tence.
!" Bella, put on your hnt nnd walkout
with us n little way. It is n charming
evening," said Mrs. Corliss, turning to
me after taking a ceremonious leave of
Aunt Susannah.
Of course I tventf or my hnt.   I shotdd
n»a»V»>41ii«fe -of *•'■*—" "-*—'	
In nn exhausted ro, — „
to follow a suggestion of Mrs, Corlins'. '-
Or so I supposed thai.   But I trembled
in my heart, nud began to rnu over in
my mind nil my little over-dones aud
uiider-dones.   She had sueh a Lady Su-
f
this ?   Becauso tho puro religion estnh
lished nenrly nineteen centuries ngo by;
ottr blessed Savior is boing supplnnted
thnt of totnl itnnihilntion—tlio death of
life, both nnimal nnd spiritual. Wlulo
tlio unbelieving nnd ungodly man snf-'
fers himself to bo blown about tritji
every wind of doctrine, tho hnuibj '
Christian nsooHjr _follow« th**"_
U, giySL hmi hZlioiV^worA, SnfelWj
then, there is a divilSo ronUty iii;
religion thnt supports tho Christ
tian nt denth. Ho can look
fearlessly across tho dark valley,
nnd,   seeing   tho    glory   beyond,
tin
Wealth upon IhemsolvcB, nnd oven bad
-wouStiqueneos springing from it, wliich
iquiio justify their shnkon of tho hend,
though thoy nro slow to explain, oven to
thomsetves, why tho npplcs tnsto so
'rtshy.
CllILWtiJN'S 'l'r.Klil,
-Jtisoy   NHdtilil   bo  Attemleil  to  unit
lleeay l*rerei,l«tl.  .
[AicriCAii Ajuirtlllurist.l
A mother of sovernl children lately told
Ima her oxperience, A fow j-enw ngo n'n
[thought thnt Jier eldest boy's teelh in (hi
front ot tho lower juw were decaying
badly. This was adisnppoiiiluieut to the
• mother, who hnd fed her children c.u-e-
"fully on notu-ishing nnd wholesome food,
; as a gonernl nde, keepingboth pickles and
c&ifectionnry from them. Studying the
matter over, sho jumped to tlio condition that whnt she, hnd rend concerning
tho mischief-making properties of the
tomato must bo true,  especially as her
his tomatoes this season, had a peculiar
double with his teeth. She had observed that her children's, especially fho
boys', teeth grew white nud clean when
there wero plenty of ripe tomatoes, nnd
isho thought thnt the neid of tho vegetable went too fnr nnd acted on the ennmel
of the teeth. But when tho boy, then
fourteen years old, went to n dentist to
havo Ms teeth filled, lo! thero was no
filling fo bo dono. "Your boy has it
uplendid sot of teeth," the dentist told
thomother. "Tliero is uot a cavity in
thein. Unusually good teeth for n boy
of his age." And the dentist had no
doubt that tho tooth were better than
thoy would hnvo been if tho owner hnd
juimched enndy nnd pickles, ns children
usunllydo.   "They must bo cleaned,
by fhe doctrine of Pahio and Voltniro—^ and thnt without delny," he said.   The
jtartar which hnd gathered nnd crusted
^gradually at the crown of the teeth wns
yertoved by tho dentist, nnd with ifc all
ApPOtoBces of decayed teeth, Now
■*-' -|>qy- baa nothing to do but keep his
"mjSi^tJScrSS&'i^ ^»oa%,'??,?^i,M-.<>1J»ator, .uutil tliey ;bv
o sure,   Th e youn gejr - etnfdtOrnaW' -c«*tCT^ithwia5fc~faUI*
beeu Into nt church or absent from  the
sewing society this time.    Neither had I (yon want" your business don
n boiv too many or a bow too few ou my  not, send."
man in tlie moon Iiutl winked at liie, for i Sunday bonnet.   Worse,  though ; Mr,
my friends nil knew how I detested such ! Brodhend hnd been to her.
talk.   And, besides, I never considered
^Mrs. Shnekolford that sort of a woman.
Her nttention was usually cent -red in
the sewing society and her ilower garden.
But for once* some other idea had
taken possession of her mind, and, ns
her thoughts alwnys rnu iu grooves, she
never could harbor more than one nt n
time.
"My dear," she began, as sweet and-
ns cold nud ns still us tv dish of frozen
custard, " I want to haev a serious talk
with you on tt serious subject, nnd per-
hnps I may ns well sny nt once, Mr.
Brodhend hns solicited the good offices
of Mr. Corliss and myself between yon
Stitching on n Bnlfon.
He had never tried it before, but ho
wns nnturnlly a self-reliant man, and
felt confident <>f his ability to do it.
Moreover, his wifo had gono to tho
country. Therefore, carefully selecting
from that Indy'a work-basket tho tliick-
est needle anil stoutest thrend, ho reso-
plunges into the darkness witii all the
faith with which nchild woidd throw itself
from the window of a. burning house in-
, to its father's nrms, stretched ont in tho
darkness below ready to receivo it.
] While tlio Christian dies peacefully with
hope of immortal glory, tho ungodly de-
■ parts with the awful feelings of dnmna-
> tion already upon his soul. Look nt
» Voltaire! In his life he ridictded reltg-
i ion and upon his death-bed he cnlled
; upon the Christinns' God for mercy in
i that dark hour, and finally died with
i nwful imprcentions and curses upon his
; Sips, nnd wns thus summoned inlo tho
j presence of the Beiug ho lind defied.
i If you read the history of nil good men,
warned- to avoid the older brother's
troublo hy tho daily use of tooth brushes.
Prom their father's caso they learn to
avoid the opposite extreme. His teeth
fio j are hopelessly discolored, and n few nre
hnbitunlly loose, but tlie useful tomato
is no longer suspected ns the cause.   He
AN OCMAN RIVE'ft.
l>l.com-jt ot st Tlilr/t )(--<jimtoi-l»t <'ctrrenf
In th" I»iieltle-
Tho London XaitUc.ql QazcUc contained roceiiUy an interesting announcement nnd detailed neoount of n newly
duicovered current in the oquntori.d Pacific. The discoverer and explorer of
-this remarkable oceanic movement is
Cnpt. John McICirdy, of the steamship
Pernvin, miming between Cnllno, Honolulu, and Hong Kong, who has devoted
much stud j' lo lha circulation of tho sea
from tho Peruvian const to Pnnama, nnd
thenqo westward along tlie equator. It
lS^wolI-kiiown that approximately iinr'nUel
witti^tlns lino" and from the second to
the toiitU purullel ot north latitude tbo
Iftcitt* A'.i>tim^it^L99_^:_m_^_{L-.
gonornl movement of all ccf untonal waters.
Along the western const of South America
tliero has beon also recognized sinco
Humboldt's time n JSnst flow of glacial
wnter from lho Antarctic basin, whioh,
nftoi' penetrating to tho equator, turns
westwnrdly ahd falls into the general
westerly movement.
for tho preponderance of women in tho
populntion generally, oveu then, nccord-
ing to these statements, tho femnlo sex
shows tho best average of long life. In
Hungary, oA the eontrnry, there nre
ni«'o old men than women, notwithstanding tho females outnumber tho males.
Ajistrin, it seems, hns 100 women wlio
nre over a^century old, while only eijjhty-
six/ niou *nre ns nged. The most interesting foot, however, in these data is lho
'superior longevity -of the Germans as
compared with tlio Sclnves; thus', among
tho Germans of Upper Austria, nud-Salzburg thoro n*o 13 $• por cent.-of this
population who como'.under tbo ciita-
Joguo of old peoifio, while among the
Sehwcs of Galieia tbo percentage is 4.
,    .Qq«*4irifi» leadyUIe.   ,   ,
In view of tho Rprcnunig populnntj-'of
'the mining boom, nnd fhoexfremo prob
ability thnt there will, in course of thoo,
bo n now generation of Lertdvillians to
bo brought np iu n way they should go.
Puck hns drawn up the ground plan oi
a revised Ollendorff's grnmmnr, wherein
Bnt  now, "to the i tho beautiful forms of speech familiar U
MICHKUJf NEWS.
8urpiciso of hydrogrnphers, a third nnd   our own too highly civilized iufntiey sliull
cause of popular
presses witii a largi
Mexican nnd Pauumn coasts first to tho
southward aiid thon to tho westward. )
Tho remarkable features of this cur- j
rent aro ita shape, forco, nud color, with l
its temperaturo—all so distinctly tracen- j
bio fnr from laud that its explorer says: j
"Its color is a deep, deep blue, or deep [
lituinh-blaek, nnd cannot bo mistaken j
(tho surrounding waters of the North j
Pacific nro a bright, beautiful bluo), nud j
its wnters differ iu tompernturo from that i ulntor 'hits   the  Hiniii;
around il by about two degrees, so that ] Widow nnd Orphan,
you can tell iu a minuto if yon nre in it)
or out of it."   As it Hows west of tho one j
hundredth meridian, west longitude, it i
feels tho northwestward pressure of tho
grent body of Antarctic water known ns j
Hnmbolt's current,  of a "dart:, dirt;/ '
green" hue;  nnd thus  the contrasted ;
strenui of "deep bluish blnck" is forced :
bodily north of tho equator, forming a *
shrunken horn or distorted letter S re- i
versed, tho lower end pointing to Panama '
and the upper a littlo to tho eastward of I not know Whero tho rich Wifo of "the
tho Sandwich Islands,   Tho equatorial   boss Bankrupt is.
counter-current also aids in causing this       Can I bet on That?
"bend" in its course, but whon the pres- •    You can bet on Thnt.
sure is removed the current of dork bluo !    What ean I bet on Thnt?
interest iu tho
education.
IiESSOX 1,
Has tho Good Speculator tho Miniuj'.
Clniiu?
Yes, tho Good Speculator has tho Mining Claim,
Has tho Good Speculator the Mining
Claim of tlie Widow nud the Orphan?
Yes, yon bet your Life the flood Spec-
Claim of  tht:
You bet your Life?
I bet my sweet Life.
Ho bets* his sweet Lifo solid.
"Who hns my Lode?
I hnvo not your Lodo, but the rich
Wife of the boss Bankrupt hits your
Lode.   "
Do you know Where the Wifo of thc
boss Bankrupt is?
No, I donot know Where the rich Wife
of the boss Bankrupt is; Nor Nobody do
A new three-story hotol is to bo built
in Bay City.
Boyne PjtT.r,s expects to bo chosen as
the location of a Stale fish hatchery,
Hekbv Witts, of Onstloton, Barry
county, lias be&U'gliqxod P*a tapeworm
seventy feet long,
The roports of tho Pntent Ollice show
thnt Michigan inventors haye secured
pntonts at the rato of 3,036 of tho population,
J)uitiN8n.severostormlightning struck
nnd lulled four cows belonging to Mrs.
Locke, of Bedford, a few miles irom
Battle Creek.
The now village of Seoits in the township of Climax, Knlttmnswo eounty, hits
twelvedivellings and two stores, nnd more
aro in iirospect.
ins Ontonagon Miner intimates tho
Silver Islet miners hnvo > struck ifc rich
ugniu, nnd says $8,000 to tlie ton is tho
way some of the ores are expected to ns-
sny.
Some vnndnl broko n pieco off tho
marblo top of tho President's desk in
tho Semite chamber at tho State Cnpitol
at Lansing, using tho President's ebony
gavel to brt'ak it.
A youno woman hns deserted her hua-
bitnd, in Bay City, and returned to her
parents, beeauiB sho did not care to
bo nny ono's servant, nnd he made her
blnck his boots aud bring him iced-
tyater.
Gov.   Onoswniiii has caused a hnnd-
somonnd durable hendstone to be,sct\ip
to murk tho graylj of Capt, David Hiok»,
tiit Sttult-Ste. Marie.   Capt, HickH w«n
km^-mLi^f^zm-^^lfi^
I youth, and died of cholera1 at Uio-Saulfc
in 1854.
A voxm-FOOT tvnter-adder, enttghfc
near Battle Creek nnd mndo im exhibition of in town, wns found noxtmorning
with a small army of new-born ndders,
numbering exactly fifty, each about
eight inches long. Tho old one lay dead
in the cnge, nnd the lively young ones
wero speedily buried with her.
The Bnttlo Creek Machinery Com-
pnny exhibited n Bou'.t's carver nud a
Marsh's cylinder bed Inthe nt tho Into
exposition at Sydney, Australia, and received tho following ticket: "Boult's
carving nnd dove-tailing mnchine : A
machine thnt is excellently designed,
nud which will do a greater variety of
work thnn any other mnchine exhibited.'
The following is n statement of tho
receipts and disbursements nt the State
Treasurer's ollice for tho month ending
Aug. 31, 18S0:
Bultuice on hand July 111 $1,510,0.15.11
itwipts for the month      011osi.sa
Total J1,071,700.7J
Dlshursi incuts for the inonth       G8,Q13 83
•5*
rationally  Nothin;
You Lie,
resumes its westerly path, curving goutly
round.
Tho explanation of this "mighty river
running in tho Pacific Ocean," as Capt,
McICirdy   calls  it,   is   vory
pointed out Inr himself.    "Thero is con-,
sidernble testimony," he says, " ns to tho '
existence of n eurroiitsetting to the southward nnd southeast along the Cnliforninn
and Mexican coasts (possibly a continuation of tho Japauese current).   This body
of water gets pent up in tho Gulf of Pan-
nmn.   It cannot get south on nccount .of'
Humboldt's current, and tho two streams i
change tlieir course to   tho westward, i
running along sido "by sido  near   tho j
,u»tor, .until they jmeet the equatorial j
You can bet vour old Hnt on Thnt,
dm I bet my new Hnt on Thnt?
No, you cannot bet your now Hnt on
Thnt; for you hnvo no now Hat to bet oi.
hnd nu opportunity to r-wl biibo in a   Japan nud its recurvation across tho Pa-
work on dentistry and eame to tne con
elusion that hard "scouring" of the
teeth with gritty substances when n
young man hnd worn nwny the hard
onnmet of his teeth, so thnt the strong
coffee ho drnnk (during his soldier lite
especially) penetrated and permanently
colored his teeth. I dislike to henr of
scouring tho teefli. Whon they liave
been neglected this may be necessary
to get them onco clean. The dentist
hns peculinr tools for removing tartar
crust, but the yellow deposit on chil
Uo I Lie?
Yes, you Lio.
Does tho Man with tho red Flannel
Shirt Lie?
No, but the Man nt tho End of thi-
Bnrrel Lies.
Is heUend?
Yes, ho is dend.
Of whnt is ho dead?
Ho is Dertfl of tooinijiali Pi-cviousness.
Hnv0 youiicea tlaL'jprpuer?       *. . "
.   --—■■•■}"■•>•■-■?■<-j,-,i-vimwn^VrTinmJrwv
wedge."    Undoubtedly, ns this nblo ofli- f t)1G XSxielo ot my docCsedPriouil islTust-
cer of the mercantile nnvy suggests, tho i fupr around witit n Infringer,
tho newly-discovered "horn-shaped cur-      & the Undo of vour Deceased Friend
rout  is "acontinuation of the Japanese , (l (Jotul Shot*
rnrrmit" inmwn n« tbe tvnvn Sinn, ni-      y,.s> th-Uncle of my deceased Friend
is a (Tiiml Shi't.
Shall I Dust?
Yes. vou shall Dust.
Shall I Dust P. 1). Q?
Yd. you shall Du^t P. D. Q.—Puel;
on IVheill.
current," known ns thc Kuro Siwo, or
"Blnck Strenui of Japan," whose pheno-
j mona and movements off the coasts of
cittc to the California coast were originally nscertaiued nud charted by Capt.
Silos Bent, oi London, in Perry's Jnpnn
expedition. Tho deep-blue color of tho
Kuro Siwo near the Jnpnn Islands nnd
all the way across the North Pacific to
California marks its identity with Cnpt.
McKirdy's "deep bluish black" current
as traced westwnrdly from the Gulf of
Panama to ths mid-Pacific.
The imp irtnuce ef this discovery is
recognized by the highest authority of
tho British Admirality ns reflecting new
nahmre on hand Aug. 81 Jl.SKi.-Ma.fff
Tins lumber shipments from East Saginaw during the month of August wero
30,837,000 feet. Shingles, 15,235,000.
Tho shipments of lumber for the mouth
from all river points were over 100,000,-
000 feet, nud from tho opening of nnvi-
gntion to Sept. 1 will ngpregnte over
500,000,000 feet, being over 100,000,000
feet in excess of shipments for tho snmo
time in 1879. During the month of
August there was moved by wnter and
mif from Snginnw valley points 175,000
barrels of salt.
Ex-Gov. BoiiEitT McCr.Bnr,A.ND died
at Detroit, n few days ago, of an apoplectic attack. He wns 73 years old, a
native of Fj-nukliu canity, Pn. ; graduated from Dickinson College, at Carlisle,
nud began the practice of Inwin 1831 nt
Pittsburgh. He then enme to Monroe.
He served several terms in tho Legislature, two terms in Congress, was
elected Governor of thc State iu 1851,
and again in 1853, when ho accepted a
posiSon in President Pierce's Cabinet;
rti» $«s&i5$,rot tU6 Interior.   Vtotft 0»»-;
m
and liimself.   He seems to be a very enr- : Jutolv set himself to tho task. ' Spitting ! IB «'l Rges of tho world, yoii will find
nest admirer, but n very diffident one.   ujM>ri his fingers, ho carefully rolled the ' "'ey departed with joy nnd shottta of
" Mr.  Brodhend is n nice mnn, nnd n ) Whnt should you sny to the iden of, mi\ 0f the thrend inlo n point, nnd then, 1 victory  upon   their   tongues, ns   they
fine-looking man," she t^aid,  looking nt' entertaining a proposal of marriage from   closing  one of  his own optics, he nt- : woro ushered info   "
mo sharply.    "A man of menus, nud n ! hini ?"' ; tempted to fill up tho needle's solitary j world, whoro suffering
generous mnn, as you wiy." j     '• I couldn't think of such n thing for : eye; but tho thrend either pnssed by on j unknown.   May wo all dio tho denth of
"I suppose so," I replied, gathering) a moment, Mrs.  Corliss.    I have no ex- ■ one sido or tho other of tho needle, or
»yr shawl nbout me. ; peetation iir wish ever to mniTvnuyone,
" Oh, don't you go yet, Bella.   I wns J said I, feeling verv much annoyed,
wnnting to seo you, nnd I consider your i    Mrs, Corliss sighed severe!v.    " Mar-
dropping  in  quito   providential.    The j riflg0 is a divinely-appointed institution,"
deacon and I were talking of calling on   said she, *'and uot to be lightly set nside
you this very evening," snid the deacon's  without due consideration und prayer
wifo, putting out her hand to keep me    " 	
from rising;  "and, when I saw your
worked itself ngninst the glittering steel
■ nnd refused to lie persuaded. However,
; tho thrend suddenly bolted throngh tlio
j eye to tho extent of nn inch, nnd, fenr-
i ing to lose this advantage, ho quickly
_ _.. | drew the ends together and united them
You are net now prepared to give a final j with a knot about tho size of a buckshot,
answer to so important tt matter.   It ( The "button was n trouser one, but he
dren's teeth can be cleaned nwny ns the ; nud decisive light npon the mysterious
dentist does it by nnyoue. Take finely j circulation of Pacific waters, nnd ns jus-
powdered pimiicestonennd n little clenu,*   tifying a recasting of Western Pacific
..    . 0„„, ., „    soft pine stick to rub with.     Dip the (charts.   It affords a loug-1 wked-for key
tho upper nnd better   1'hio stick into wnter and then in pow- • to tho history of the Kuro Siwo—tho
■ring and sorrow nro ! dercd pumice, nnd rub the teeth gently.    Gulf-strenm of tho greatest of oceans—
ns thnt dark wnter, nfter coursing  so
many thousand of miles,  bends around
nud, coniplBt-
tho righteous, and may our Inst end bo
like theirs. J. N. MabsiuiiU
Kobtk Luce Wan, Flu.
Afterwards wash them with sonp aiid
water, using a tooth brush. It is well to
uso a little fine, clean sonp occasionally   the North American coast.
blue shawl turning in at the gate, I said   comes upon you suddenly.   Take  time, i liked tlio dimensions of its holes, nnd it
to myself, ' That's ns mnrked a token ns   my dear friend, to  think it over care- j « only going on tho bnek of his shirt
fatly, prayerfully, nud with n viow to j anyhow.   Ab ho pnssed tho neodlo gen-
tvhnt is yoiir duty." ; tly upward   tlirough the linen, ho felt
Mrs. Corliss shut her lips tight, es ,a mingled pity and disdain for men
though to keep hor teeth in, auS then ! }»lu'8?u»« wer such easy jobs; nnd, ns
kissed me good-nighth-a soft, elnimnv i >°le' «»e button gracefully gbdo down
kiss, wiiich mndo me feel ns though I \ih?A ^^ to its appointed place, ho
wanted a lump of sugnr. Accordingly, s<ud {° h.ims?Jf "1UW, cv«1)0 ™am?} a
I went in the house nnd nte oue, and , ^cond time it shotdd bo for somo nobler
thought  no    moro    nbout Mr.   Brotl-   .rcftson "iaa »^ea? ot BCT™K ™ l?ut:
head for a month aud a day. f?ns-   The first downward thrtist had
,. „ ,    ,,,,..       ,     it-    , I tho same hnppy result, nnd, holding the
At tho end of thnt time Aunt Kent, button down firmly with his thumb, ha
asked mo to go down and do up her | nnmn „„ „„„;„ ^n\, „u f1int. „„„«,!„„„„
Aunt Kent wns a dear, gecxi old
Kcbecea at tho well, with tho pitcher on
her shoulder.' I haven't the gold earrings and bracelets to offer you, but I
have all the rest," sho added, laughing
nervously.
Just now tho deacon came in. Now
there is, in tho opinion of his wife, but
on« reason why Deacon Shackelford
didn't mako tho world. Ho found it already made. And when ho eame in,
sho looked up to him ns though Atlas
hnd eome, nnd she could safely drop the
world on his shoulders nud go off picking golden apples.
"I was just spenking a good word for
Mr. Brodhend to Bella, deacon," snid
she.
*» Ali 1 ttad what clots Bella say ? " returned the deacon, lookiug as though it
were a question of .investing iu real estate, or tho prico of gold.
"Bella doesn't sny anything," Ire-
plied. " Certainly not before sho is
aBked."
"You need not wait long, if that is
nil," nnsworedDencouShnekolford. "I'll
nsk you now. Have yon nny objection
fo na offer of marriage from Mr. Brodhend?   Thero I"
" He is a very bashful mnn, Mr. Brodhend is, Bella, nnd so ho got us to help
him n little. Why, ho is in love with
yon," interposed Mrs. Deacon Shackelford—"he is in lovo with you down to
his boots."
" Let it run out of his toes, then,"
said I, beginning to feel liko new yeast.
" But you can't have anything ngninst
the man," persisted Mrs. Dencon.
"And think 1 after a while you won't
havo yonr grandfather and your Aunt
Susannah to talk to, nnd yon will miss
it if you don't havo somebody in their
plnce. It is best to think of theso
things. And you won't find a kinder
man, if yon search tho world over with a
wax cnndle, thau Mr. Brodhead,
"Mr. Brodhead is well enough, Mrs.   o^0111 »*•"
caps.
Indr, who lived in a little yellow nnd
white cottage nt tho end of the grnve-
ynrd, whero her husband nud seven
children tvero lying in one pathetic row^
under the beds of hoatt's-ooso nud. forget-me-nots. But whon they went sho
adopted all the world into her warm,
motherly heart. So, though sho lived
alone, with a littlo cream-colored grey-
hoiuid, she had a largo family, and whoever wns sick, or sorry, or needy, went
to lier, ns well ns whoever wished for
sympathy in health and gladness.
Denr Aunt Kent I Whon I went iu,
there she wns knitting n checked sock
for young Mra. Cnblo's first baby, with
such n look of peuceful repose on her
fneo that one would bo trilling to go
over the samo weary path of suffering, if
it Bhould lend nt Inst into such n Innd of
rest.
"I don't know when I felt sorrier,"
said she, whon I was settled at my
work )iy her side, " thnn I did for somebody who came to mo Inst week iu n
love affnir. He is n mnn o£ whose lovo
any woman might bo proud, but he is
so full of humility nnd seif-ilistrusfc that
ho doesn't even daro open tho subject
to the young womnn herself. And I
don't know but it will cost him his life.
He says ho is suro it wonld if sho should
| refu'so  him, and I guess ho  is  suro
Sh nckelford. I don't deny that. But
the idea of making a proposal of this
sort tlirough 'middle-men!' Ifc is too
absurd!" I said, laughing, and put on
my hat.
So I went homo to my classes in embroidery,' and drawing, and wax-work—
to making Aunt Susannah's cap* and
grandfather's coffee. My lifo wns 'full
of monotonous work in thoso days, and
sometimes I hnd a strange, uncomfortable impression of a mncluno wound up
and running without any net of its own.
One evening when I was putting
{lie Bjlyey away after mipper, and feel^! bum,
In nn instant Mr. Brodhend flashed
into my mind, and my heart grow harder than tho inoefcing-house stops.
" Why, Aunt Kent," said I, "it is too
nbsurdl Ho hns already beon to tho
minister and to tho minister's wifo, and
then to the deacon and to the deacon's
wife, to nslc tliem to intercede for liim.
I wouldn't have a man nnyhotv nfter he
hnd mado sueh n goose of himself."
Aunt Kent opened her eyes in mild
Astonishment, and then I remembered
slio named somebody, Thon I stopped
suddenly n»d felt tty oJieeks begin to
enmo up ngnin with nil that confidenoo
which uniform success inspires. Per-
hnx« the point of the needle did not enter to tho bone, but it seemed to him
that it did, nnd his comment upon tho
circumstance waft emphatic. But ho
was very ingenious, and next timo would
hold tho button by ono edge and come
up tlirough the holo nearest tho other.
Of course ho would. But tho needle
hnd nn independent wny of suiting itself
ns to holes, and it chose the ono where
tho thumb was. Then the needle got
sulky. It didn't caro nbout holes, anyhow, if it wns going to bo abused for
them, and the button might have been
an imperforated disk for all tho apertures which tliat needle could thenceforward bo made to discover, without infinite poking and prodding. It always
enmo through when ifc wns lensfc oxpect-
ed, nnd never when it wns wanted. Still
ho perBovered, and it wns not until ho
finnlly discovered thnt ho hnd stitched
over the edge of tho button, nnd had
sewn it on the wrong side of the shirt,
thnt ho utterly broko down.
Hallucination ofthe Senses.
Professor Mnudsley remarks, iu a recent lecture, that one striking feature
observed by lnedicnl men who have had
enses of hallucination under their chnrgo
is that tho pntients cannot be convinced
thnt the objects they see, tho sounds
thoy hear, and tho smells they perceive,
havo no real existenco, and that tho
sensations they receivo aro tho result of
their excited nerves. It frequently happens, too, that a poreon who sutlers from
hallucination in respect of one sense has
tho others unaffected, and is, on all other
matters, perfectly nonnal. Hallucination mny arise either from an idea on
which the mind has dwelt, appearing as
something exterior, or from^ excitement
of tho sensory ganglia. Ifc is said tliat
Nowton, Hunter, and somo others of
equal professional eminence, conld, at
will, picture forms to themselves till tbey
eppejiyed to lie realities,
for elenuihg teeth, but plenty of pure
water (alittle warm in tho cold weather;
will usually suffice for cleansing the
teeth of persons of gam! dietetic habits.
To mnke good tooth in the first place,
beginning when we can begin, nnd allowing for "ancestry" tho mother should
eat plain and nutritious food, a varied
diet well supplied with bone material, as
thn grains are when ic is bolted or Rifted
out, and lean ment. Foryoung children
milk slioidd be freely used, and Gr.ihnm
nnd oat meal nlso
A loucHlnjc Incident. i
Au English   nctress,   passing   along I
a street Ono dny, henrd singing.   Sho
looked in nt an open door upon a littlo
prayer meeting, and cnught the words,
Depth of mercy, can there ho
Merry utill reserved tor mo?
Sbo entered, listened nwliile, and then
went nwny; but the hymn went with
lnr. Sho became n Christian, nnd determined to lenvo tho stage; but tho
mnnager would not release her from fulfilling her engagement. The. Inst night
sho plnyed with uuusunl brillinney, and
nt the closo was cnlled beforo the curtain. Her contract was discharged ; she
had no master now Arat Christ. Standing therewith clasped hands aud streaming oyos, she sang :
Depth of mercy I canlhorohe
Mercy utltl reserved Or mo?
Can juy God liis wrth Jorbcir—
lie, tho chlot of elnrtre, Bpare?
Tho audioneo was melted by Uio i>a-, - _,.„-      „,,„„
tllotio confession nnd ilea,  and many.       "Jfc your name William Hill?   Softly
sought tho same mercy.]    . it^&f1m* ^'^ t,.. « -,,
0 ■   J t.   '   ■ ,Ff-    "Old man, you bet!    was the ready
An Arkansas Hairpin on a Bender.
Tho prisoner in ceil No. 1 was mnking
n grent noiso ns court opened, nnd ho
was therefore brought out first Ho was
a stout, thiek-set man with short hnir
and milk-white eyes, and ho believed
himself to bo a mountain lion of tho
fiercest order. Ho enmo out on tho
dance, with a half-concealed war-whoop
in his teeth.
iPrst.-ylng txntA 4lvln(f.
A rich youth hi Jtonfe had suffered
from a dangerous ill&esj. On recovering his health his heartpvns filled with
gratitude, and ho cxclnmed, "O, thou
nll-sufliciont Crentor 1 c/nld man recompense Theo how willingy woidd I give
Thee nil my possession^' Hormes, tho
herdmnn, hoard this nm said to tho rich
youth, '' All good gif ts jome from nbove;
thither thou ennst Bencuothing. Conie,
follow me." He took lim to a hut whero
wns nothing but wretaednoss nnd niis-
A iiADl nt White fhilphur Springs,
when nskod by a repCter for a description of her dress, sail: "I don't wear
a very handsome cofumo, but I hnvo
tho nicest husbnnd on two of the sweetest children in the fiom," Thero nro
millions of just such lives, young man,
and thev are trensurdj
ery. Tho father ln| on n bed of sickness, tho mother tilt, tho children
woro destitute of cjthing nnd crying
for breed. Hermes&id, " Seo here, nn
altar forthesncrificl seo here lho Lord's
representatives." fho youth assisted
them bountifully, *l tho poor peoplo
ealled hini nn nnge|of God. Hei-mes
smiled and snid, "lus turn always thy
grnteful counteiiancfirst to honvon and
then to earth."     |
Ynlitc I Jllonoyi
The impeciuiiou|man thinks it absurd for his wcnltltWghbor to gravely
nssert that there i|littlo happiness in
tho possession of nfiey. And certainly
rich men seem to csby their wealth, are
proud of it in "vafes ways, according
to character, uso Sffroely as a power,
and will not surifder it without tho
very toughest fi$tfiigr. A complete
surrender of wcnlt of tho difference between Bnhsistenfsn4'«!PJ»pe'«noe 9?
I
reply
"Prisoner, this court doesn't bet, and
if it has to inform you of thnt fact again
it may hnvo to add sixty days to your
sentence. Do yon plead guilty or not
guilty to drunkonness?"
"Judge, I wns drunkor'n a beer bnr'l.
I wns fighting drunk, I wns just in tho
condition to chaw up hnlf tho police
forco of this ono-liorse four-corners.
Judge, let mo out long enough to flnp
my wings nnd give a crow whieh enn bo
henrd four miles ngin a stiff wind I"
"Willinm Hill, I think I know whnt
nils you," quietly remarked tho court,
nfter looking him ovor. "Youarenching
to fall ngainst somo consumptive Detroit-
er about five feet high who will mnsh you
flntter thnn sole-leather. You evidently
think yourself a tarantula, but you aro
nothing but a rabbit. Instead of being
a terror, you nro a nuisance, and I BhaU
send you to tho work-house,"
"Judgo, I'm from Arkansas, nnd I
toll you I am dangerous,"
"Pooh! I shall send you for thirty
days, the samo as any common drunkard."
"Don't disgrace mo, Judge. Mako it
six months nt least. Think of tho story
going back to Arknnsns that I wns sent
up on n lioss-ily sentence,"
But his Honor wns obstinate, nnd tho
prisoner sat down on a nail-keg in tho
corridor and said he'd have to kill one of
the guards at the work-houso to restore
his lost prestige.—Detroit Free Press.
Mb, Tennxsoh is reported to hnvo
said, when asked what ho thought of the
pootry of tho day, that ho wns surprised
at its high standard of general excellence. Bufc wo would suggest that there
18 tpo much of it to fte scpiaro inch,
ing its grand round, re-enters tlie mam
equatorial stream wheuce it originates,
near the Asintio coast. II is quite evident, nlso, thnt for nil purposes of nnri-
gntion in the region through which it
moves, so mnguifieeut n "river in the
sea" (within whicli tho Pernvin made tho
handsomo run of 322 miles a dny), is
destined to bo n great highway of commerce.
Playing the Drummer.
Young Bummelhnus hns just been discharged by his employer, old Twoper-
ccnt. The. facts are ns follows; Bum-
melhnns had just returned from a trip
over the State. His trip had boen a
very sntisfnetory ono to himself, xler"
hnps, but not so to liis employer. Ho
hnd spent a great deal of money in buggy rides and ono thing nnd nnotlier, nnd
had taken yery few orders. When Bum-
melhnns cnlled in to seo tlio old man the
hitter wns mad,   Ho said :
"I don't pelievo you makes nny effort to sell goots. *Von I vnsh a tlrum-
mot I nlvays sold goots to de merchants,
no mntter -yen dey don't vant nny. I
mndo do acquaintance von everybody."
" How did you uso to mnnngo lo soil
goods when you were a drummer?"
"I vill show you nil aboufc dat.
Schoosfcyou sits down in chairs. You
vas a country merohant; I plnys now de
drummer ?"
" All right," said Bummelhans. "I'll
bo n country merchant, and Til showyou
how tlioy do,"
Bummelhans pretended to bo writing
at his desk, and old Twopercent enme
up from ono sido, bo,ring nnd sernping.
"Goot morning. Cnn't I sell you
somo goots ?"
"Who are you ?" says Bummelhans,
looking up.
"I trnvelB for do Galveston firm of
Twoperceufc."
" You do, do you? So yon travel for
thnt infernal old thief, do you ? Take
that I" nnd to impress upon his employer tho difficulties of drumming up
trade, Bummelhans kicked tho old mnn
four or five times, pushed him up in a
corner and choked him for n while, nnd
then told tho old gentlemnn, who wns
speechless with boon-fide rage, "H yoii
evor Como in hero again I'll not leave a
whole bone iu your enrenss."—Galveston Xews.
German longerHy.
Some curious statements havo been
published by an Ansh-inn official, on tho
data of longevity in Germnny and othre
European countries. Ifc appears from
this that thore aro some 12,800 persons
over 00 years of ngo throughout tho
whole of Europo, of whioh number 6,200
nre Women. In Italy, again, femnlo
longevity is superior to male, thero
being in thnt country 2-ii women over
100 years of age, ond only 160 male
centenarians,    Allgwtujco be«g made
The Women of Lima.
Lima, snys an exchange, is called tho
pnrndiso of women. They ore called
benutiful; bo they are, if you admire
black eyes and ebony tresses—not tho
drenmy'lilnck eyes o'f tho harems, *nor
tho sparkling black eyes of fhe Syrians,
nor the liquid black eyes of thc Egyptians,
bnt thc black eyes tlinfc easily reveal the
different typos of ehnrnettr. Peruvian
Indies hnvo character nud are not afraid
to show it j yet wo henr nothing of equal
rights nnd privileges among them. For
them to lay claim to a right is but to
possess it, for they can easily win over
the priesthood, and thus have the most
powerful class of Peru on their side.
Thoy nre generally occupied, but do not
work; they look uponlnborns degrading.
They rise early, take a cup of tea nnd go
to mnss, Their toilet requires bnt n few
moments. Their walking suits nre neat
nnd pretty; iu this respect they surpass
us. Thedress is black and never touches
tho ground; thero is no fussing oi
fumbling with trains. A white skirt is
sometimes seen a little below tho dress,
with n deep hem nnd two tucks, nnd alwnys white nnd clenn. Prunella gaiters
aro generally worn; nnd bauds aro bare;
tho mnnto is thrown over the head, falling gracefully down almost to tho bottom
of the skirt.
The subject of dress claims most of
their time nnd nttention; their bnll
dresses nnd opera nud soiree suits nro
mngniftcent, Then- boots, especially,
nro beautiful. No people hnvo naturally
ns small feet ns the Peruvinns. Tho
Pontvinu-mndo boots nre too smnll for
foreigners.
Peruvian ladies aro not very intelligent;
as soon ai they imss beyond the schoolgirl period thoy care littlo for books or
Bteraturo. Many learn to piny the pinno
when young, but do not caro to continue
when mnrried. Thoy nre excessively
courteous in their manners, but we are
not to bo misled by appearances. Their
mode of salutation is moro of nn embrace
than anytliing else, nnd thoy nlwnys
sny; "My houso nud all thnt X hnvo is
entirely nt your disposnl, nnd wo are to
bo ns one fnmily." Thoy nro nlwnys
wealthy in imnginntion—at least tliey
nover spenk of poverty. They lovo to
smoke. Although handsomowhen young,
they scarcely turn twenty when they begin to fade. One thing nlwnys lasts with
tliero, and tliat is their gnifc. Their movements are gliding and graceful; the same
is true of tho men.
Privacy.
A worthy wifo ot forty years' standing,
and whoso life wns not made up of sunshine nnd pence, gnvo tho following
sensible and impressive advice to a married xiair of her ncqunintance. Tho advice is good : "Preserve sacredly tlio
privacies of yottr Own houso, your married state of your heart. Let no father
or mother, sistor or brother ever presume to comD between you two, or to
Bhnro your joys nnd sorrows thnt belong
to yon two nlono. Build your quiot
world, not nllowing your dearest enrthly
friend to bo the confidant of aught that
concerns your domestic happinoss. Let
moments of alienation, if they ocour, be
healed nt Once. Never, no never, speak
of it oittsido, bufc each other confess,
and all will come out right Never let
tho mofrow'B stin find you nt variance.
Keviuw nnd renew yonr vow—it will do
you good; and hereby your souls will
grow together, cemented jn that lovo
•sviiich is stronger than {tenth, and you
•jrill fcecome $nfy one,"   "'
t 'iiiiih'rtll-il^^a^^iiUfeJSfci
tms unconscious   * "r '    - -
Mn. McKe.wi', a gentlemnn of considerable wealth residing in Brooklyn,
N. Y., hns a son, William, ngt d 18. who
some tune ngo expressed  a wish to become a farmer.   In order that lie might
become thoroughly acquainted with tho
details of thp business, young McKaimy
wns placed with  his uncle, Mr. John
Hamilton, a wealthy fanner of louin.
Tht* young man was well sntisfied for a
j time, but soon grew tvo.iry of farm life,
j nud went to work nt n mill in the neigh-
i borhood.    Lost week ho cnlled on his
j uncle  nnd   demanded S18 wages  duo
j him.    Mr. Hnmiiton wonted him to wait
till his son returned, bufc McKenny insisted ou payment.     Somo angry words
passed, atid'M'iKenuy drew a revolver
nnd fired twice, killing his nged uncle.
DaniMj Pabjotcust, nged about 35
yenrs, met with n hbrrible denth nt
Johnson's lime-kiln nt Enst Saginaw.
De wns nt work in the mouth of the lain
with three others, punching down limestone thnt hnd pneked iu, forming a sort
of crust, when tho stone sunk into tho
kiln. All jumped out except Pnrkhursfc,
who went down some four feet, nnd tho
stono wedged in around liim from the
hips down, somo two or tliree tons in
weight, holding him as in a vise, whilo
tho firo underneath slowly roasted him
to death. Six men put a rope around
ium and pulled with idl their
strength, but were unable, to extricate
him, Iu fifteen minutes ho was completely roosted. The body was in thc
kiln nearly nn hour before taken out
Deceased leaves a wifo and four little
children.
I
i
The Wooden Hat.
Somewhere nbout tho yenr 1770 n traveling millwright, foot sore, and with tho
broadest Northorn Doric accent, stopped
nt Soho, at tho engine factory of Bonlton
&Wntt, and asked for work. His aspect
wns littlo better thnn one of beggary nnd
poor looks, nnd Boulton hnd bidden him
godspeed to somo other shop, whon, ns
ho tvus turning awny sorrowfully, Boulton suddenly called liim back.
" What kind of a hat's yon yo hnvo on
your head, mo niou?"
"It's jusfc timmer, sir."
"Timnier, me mon? let's look afc it.
Where did you (jet it?"
"I just made it, sir, my ainsel."
"How did you make it?"
"I just turned it in tho lathie,"
"But it's oval, mon, nnd the latho
turns tilings round."
"A weell I just gar'd tho Infchie gang
nuitlier gnit, to plense me. I'd n Inng
journey afore mo, nndlthocht- to havo a
hnt to keep out wnter, nnd I hndnn'
muckle siller to spare, and I mado me
one."
By his inborn mechanism tho man hnd
invented nn oval lathe and mado his hat,
nnd the hnfc mnde his fortune. Boulton
wns not tlio man to lose so vnluablo a
help, thus the nf ter-f nmons Willian Mur-
doek—tho originator of locomotives and
lighting by gas—took suit and service
under Bonlton & Watt, nnd in 1784 miulo
tlio first vehicle impelled by stenin in
Englnnd, and with the very hnnds and
brtun-cunning that hnd produced tho
"timmer hat."—American Machinist.
Double nnd Twisted.
A laughnblo circumstance once took
placo upon a trial iu Lancashire, whero
the Bov. Mr, Wood wns exnmined as a
witness. Upon giving hia name, OttLweli
Wood, the ;udgo addressing the reverend
person, snid, "Pray, Tib. Wood, how do
you spell your name?" Tho old gentleman replied;
" O aonhlo T,
r double IT,
B double Ir,
Double V,
Double. O, D"
Upon which the astonished lawyer
laid down his pen, saying it was the most
oxtrnordinnry nnmo lie had ever met in
his lifo, and after two or tliree attempts,
declared he was unable to record it. Tha
ooiirt iWJ convulsed with laughter,
feM
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