1880-09-17; Clare County Press

              liUJJXE 3CV5B. SI.
T-j       st ismtiB oxjtse.
A sudden tempest thunder rent
^Lo very beavouo, wh«o wroth toj ojsa4
In ono tmoiitoilcoiia burst of powor.
Then otfllneso all, and leaf, ond flower,
With deluged face 'neath rainbow nidei,
Smiled out its thuuto lu glad surprise
lho hca-ry thundern romWOd fa*
'Till dlstanco sUUed tho noisy car)
And sleep, sweet soother ot our woes,
;8oon wrapped tho earth In soft repoao,
Atid then I dreamed—though not a dream,
i Bo real did tho vision eeem,
: go perfect and so finely planned,
' That, woxo tho languago at command,
I still should want an artist's pen
' To paint tho beauty of tho scene.
'Twos not a flash, though instant willed,
3Proin God's own flat Bcemed distilled,
That all the noxious things of earth
Had disappeared, as lf their birth
Had nover been.   Earth, air and scan
llold naught but luxury and caso,
lint man, solo monarch of a will.
Aloue had powor for good and ill.
In mute thanksgiving I surveyed
A world so grand and perfect made,
Reflecting, as I'm wont to do,
That 'twould be natural to purauo
The course of right, aud upward tend
To whero true pleasures never end.
But ah | my transport hollr was brief;
Full soon 1 foilml a tloUrco for grief.
Though with a Mt and faultless realm,
Frail man Mill gilded at tho helm,
And still kRs bark would wayward prove,
Though stilted o'er rippling seas of lovo.
TTrone still to wander from tho right,
)Ho seeks to group in error's might,
. And nurture all tho lusts of sin
- H1b timo-taught nature holds witnth.
'The morbid thirstf<*<Ara«ghts of flre,
With ail tho cureftViid hot expire;
And foul dollrtttft burns tho brain
JChat soe&i tt& ttntidoto ln vain,
Ttft'WaSbr with hie golden store
Counts ail his treasures o'er and o'er,
Yet finds no increaso; may uot lend
Whero fato conspires to bo tlio friend
To rich and poor, and nono may feel
A sense of wont, save thoso who will.
But Bomo there aro who ever crave
A nameless happinoso.   Tho slave
To voidlcss longings knows no reat.
Though formed b; nature to bo bloat
And thus, ami 3 this boundless space,
Mith naught to vex, annoy, no trace
Of taint tv crime, of sin or stain
Man's bosor.i still tho curso retain,
And prn.cz beyt nd a doubt, a Hhudo
Uls \\tti£f r woo himself has made.
.AsilT^.Hjv ,a.
op-ssrTv
•itshi-: «(>B,r>5-:.\ koisi.v.
Sweet bird with velvet pinion,
KwKot bird with golden broast
Thnt Rlintoil past me, winging
Up to thy woven ncet!
I waa not looting upward —
To oartli my oyea wero turned—
Whou through thp Htintmcr-WiXHUauiI
Thy HUddcn beauty biirnert.
And on the award I noted
A. shadow—nothing nvire—
Slipping along the mmshtnp
That fleckoil thp fori^t-flijor,
Till, lifting up ray glauces,
I Haw thy charms confessed,
'Sweet bird of ve.vet pinion,
Sweet bird of golden breast!
Anil in that quiet m-uncut
A truth sank In my heart
That b >aki aud m%tter4 taught mo
Vainly with wear)" art •
Tint eaeh event la varied
As eaoh event is viewed—
A rtiaij'iw or a Ringing binl—
I*o#s or beatitude.
STRAY LEAVES FROI A LIFE,
..|,
VOLUME III.
CLAKE, MICHIGAN, FRIDA4 SEPTEMBER 17, 18S0.
J'* - *
NUMBER 20.
with Annie Leigh, Ab old Mrs. Andrews
would say, I feel it in my bones."
Marjorio gained her wish, A few
months aftor her arrival nt her Uncle's
Fifth avenue homo, Bho had, like ByMtij
waked to find herself f&nious Oil tho
publication of her fiftst piosa work,
iVo others followed in quick succession,
Bnt just When my heroiuo folt she had
almost climbed tho height of literary ro-
iiomi, when tlio praises of an admiring
publio wero wafted to lier liko incense,
«'ith only now and then a criticism,
which she insisted only spiced tho otherwise insipid ovation, thatoccentrio young
lady suddeidy declared her intention ot
devoting her timo to American politics,
.So thorough was her study of tho subject that sho now (six years nttor you
ilrst mot her) virtually stood at tho head
of her uncle's widely-circulated and influential daily. She had indeed clhubed
lo a disusy height whefo few wonlen eVet"
ventured. Her editorials were copied
ovorywhoro, her opinions quoted rrom
' 'Dan to Beershebo," but was she happy?
some ono nsks, Wns the mountain as
purple aud beautiful as when she gazed
longingly nt it from the sweet valley of
youth? or did sho find it but common
•nrth after all, and the mysterious beauty
lav in the misty valley of girlhood she
lind left behind?
Marjorie dropped her pott with a short,
impatient sigh, "It is strange that little Nell's words should haunt mo so tonight, ringing iu my ears, and waking
■■chocs of that still, small voice I had
hoped was forever stilled. What does
thnt child of 18 know of tho heart, that
sho should assert so confidently, ' Ambition, oven gratified ambition can nover
satisfy the inner sanctuary of your soul:
you will never bo happy till you love.
Are tho words of a child to urdermine
the foundations of my theories of life,
love and happiness that six years ngo I
boasted were built on the solid rook of
reason instead of on tho shifting sands
of human affection? And yet—-havo
they brought peace to me after all ?   I
bo her old solf nfter tho anticipated trip
to Europe duriug tho BUmlnen"
As for hot, burying tho dead blossolus
of hollo froth het Sight ttnd heart, sho
UU'fictl rCsohitely to hor work again.
Was her fato an exceptionally hard
ono, after all ?
"An, well I for ns nil, somo sweot hopo
lies deeply buried from hxnan eyes."
Att os tfHfi mist mum
MICHIGAN NEWS.
The farmers through tho State aro
complaining of the potatoes rotting.
Chahmss D. Banda&Ii, of Flint, has
boen appointed owlet to West Point by
Congressman Brewster.
One nOKDitsB ladies took part in a
school meeting'at Manistee a FeW evenings since,
A l?lJtJiS nnd Pere Marquette railroad
trahl niuttonized forty-six sheep near
Milford n fow nights ago.
Thb Chicago and Grand Trunk railway is expending §10,000 in buildings,
including an eating-house, at Battle
Creek,
TiMEE camels belonging to ttobin-
koii'h eiretlB got oU the railroad track at
FVart, Osceln county, and wero all
killed by a train.
Tins new i.iilroad from tho Straits of
Mackim e <n progressing . pidly ; several
miles of va*'. are laid, nit' they havo two
locomotives aud abont twenty cars at
Point St. Ignace.
A oestine, large, spotted salamander
was plowed up near Battle Creek, ono
day lost week, and was presented to the
High School Museum. This Ls a rare
and curious specimen.
An immense water-lily found neai the
'' cut" in Torch lako is now puzzling tho
botauicid faculty of Yale Collego, ta
which institute of learning it was sont
by the person who found it.
The product of the Michigan wells
_   for the month  of August was 301,301
would freely give power, fnme and nm- t barrels.   This is the largest amount ever
BI MAUDE POWEIiIi,
"You surely are not in earnest, Marjorio?"
"Why not?" asked tliat young ladv,
standing on tip-toe to reach a bunch of
npple-blossoms just abovo her head •
"is it anything unreasonable in mo to
•prefer being Miss Melrose, the talented
.young authoress of New York, instead
•of n country minister's wifo nnd heln-
mate?" l
"But, Mnrjorie, do you think I expect or desiro you to bury your heaven-
born talent? God f< rind I Come to
me, and, surrounded bv the friends who
have known and loved'vou from childhood, and, un ior the shadow of vour
favorite apv,le.blossoms tliat you *snid
■wero yOai firat inspiration, -write a?
much as you please."
" No, Willard; what you nsk is im-
Csible, for I am not the least bit hi
i with you. Besides," she continued
■hurriedly, and not seeming to see the
look of pain in her companion's eyes,
"I could never be happy in the life "you
describe. I would lie miserable' iu
chains, even though they were the
flowery chains of love that "bound me to
•my jailer, and my npinings and rebellion would soon make us both unhappy.
I must have excitement and active work.
I must be in the thickest of the battle
•of life. I long for power, influence nnd
fame; but, even if I cannot " Be a hero
in the strife," I must be ou tho scene of
battle, and do all I can. I shall write
no moro poetry, though the eulogiums
of the public on my little book wore
moro than I ever dared hop* for.
Henceforth I intend to live n\y.m my
Teason, and not even waste sentiment oil
verse. But with politics, philosophy,
or Bomo other literary weapon, 1 will
conquer tile fickle god'di ss fame, steal a
few laurel leaves for my brow and a key
to her temple."
"And do 3-011 expect to bo happy?
-Ah 1 Marjorie, thero is a mighty fa.'for
you have omitted in your calculations.
Your brain will bo busy, your intellect
expanding; but, even if fame should
shako the choicest bonbons from her store
at your feet, your heart will bo starving,
and you will bo miserable."
" Pshaw!" said Marjorie, recklessly ;
"let but the gods endow me with the
gifts I crave, and Cupid may keep his
paltry arrows in peace. My heart has
been too highly educated to sigh for so
childish an article. Por this much-
talked-of lovo is merely a diseased
imagination, common to youth, liko
measles and whooping-cough, and
whioh we got over in time, just ns we do
our fancy for dolls and tops, and our belief in ghosts and fairies."
_ " You are doubtloss sincere in your belief now, Marjorie," said her companion,-
a little impatiently, " but the time will
come when, even in tho zenith of your
success, you will be willing to barter it
all for a heart that is tender and tme,"
"Your prophecies aro certainly liko
Cosaandrao in one respect, Will, at
least; for Idon'fbeli&vo a word of thom;
but if I am erring, and they ever como
true, why, ril come back to D. with,
tho aforesaid wreath and key,_ and you
Bhall teach me to love. Ia it a bargain ?"
" I -will wait for you always, my darling!" said Willard, solemnly.
" It is unkind in you to say all this,"
said the girl, with sudden resentment,
" just when I had boasted in my diary
that we were a living illustration of dear
old Plato's theory; but you always were
thoughtless."
"You are coming to seo grandma?"
she added, presently, ns tho supper-bell
sent a cheery invitation through the
orchard; " she will never forgive you if
you slight her," and, seeing that her
companion hesitated, "if yon do not
come, I sliall think you are offended,
and angry with me."
"Would you care, Marjorie, dear?'
Willard asked, eagerly.
"Of course it would make me yery
unhappy to think that we, who have
beon friends from our cradles, should,
on tho eve of my departure, be estranged
about such a trifle as love; somethinj;
that you will forget befom this fruit
flushes 'neath August's kisses; and, beforo apple-blossoms come again, there
will be a pretty, blue-eyed wife at the
parsonage—Annie Leigh, perhaps—Who
mil fill the position so much more
worthily and gracefully than I."
"Stop, Marjorie," interrupted Willard
almost sternly, " Heaven knows I have
borne a great deal from you, but I con-
, not endure this unkind jesting when
you well know that' as long bb life hath
shadows, as long as the heart hath woes,
I shall love you, only you,'"
•'Of course, that is the proper speech
to mahe justpmv, Will dear, but I predict jrou wiSconsjoleyoiirself very soon
bition for tlie'iookm Nell's blue eyes as
.she talked of her husband. Ah ! child,
with only yonr trusting heart to guido
you, you havo found and gathered the
little Wtiysido flower, hapiiinoss, whieh
in my selfishness and pride I have
missed. Across the chasm of years,
comes a faint yet never-dying echo of
the same words.
" Willard, you at least truly loved .
me, and would havo saved me from myself, ond I would not, and now it is forever too late, for the fire in my heart j
lias burned so low that there is now left -
only a faint, tender strain of regret, and !
the white ashes of memory. I have in- j
leed passed the Bnbicon of youth and
produced in nny one month in the history of the salt trade in Michigan.
A Kv&amazoo paper asserts that two
boys killed a rattlesnake with ten rattles in front of a residence ou Union
street, under a street lamp, tho other
eveniug. Nice place for an evening
promenade.
We are going to put the prediction on
record that Ontonagon county, in point
of population and business extent, will
stand third in the list on the Upper Peninsula before the end of the year 1885.
—Ilmtffhton ^^ining Gazette.
.Tons MicnAEti, nn Irishman, afted 20,
who had boen ouly three weeks in this
hope.'aud for me there is no redemp- j ™™try, and who measured twenty-four
[iojj ■• luches across t.ie shoulders, and stood
Little Joe Harris, Marjorie's special   six f«*t, six inches, died from sunstroke
errand boy nnd devoted slave, after ar- I ou a !a™ ten m'es froni ^tf City,
ranging to his satisfaction tho furniture       The expectation c.oucerniug the Midland papers in her private sanctum in | ignn pineries is that, if it is a good win-
' '   "   "    ter, more pine will  be cut than in nny
' one winter duriug tho last five years.
her uncle's largo establishment, had
ploced a tiny bunch of apple-blossoais
on hi s idol's desk, and now stood half
bashfully watching Marjorie, ns she
came in, pnl<* aud weary lookingfrom last
night's vigil, and sat down to write.
Seeing the flowers, sho drew them toward her with a look of pleased surprise,
but, as hhe inhaled their fragrance,
gradually there ttolo over her face a
shad iw, marring its brightness, as a
cloud crosses the face of tlie sun. Tho
breath of the flowers was laden with old
associations and memories of her happy
home at Appledido farm, of her grnnd-
m.ilher, who had long fince orossid that
mystic river whose tide never ebbs toward the shores of time, nnd wnfted on
their sweet breath enme her talk with
Willard Lester in the sun-lit orchard on
that afternoon so long ngo. Then a full
knowledge of her mistako swept over
her, and, laying her cheek against the
The jobbers aretaking jobs averaging
from 10,000^)00 to 20,000,000 feet.
Amo.no the special prizes offered by
various persons to the woman who will
in
iiorir nit Ai'kniuiU iiorer iVilli iil» Ilrltlc.
|Ul\lt> hock Cnzctlc]
The peouliar conditions upon which a
matrimonial affair was bused in South
Arkansas havo just como to light. Dick
Anderson had just graduated between
tho plow-handles. It was said that ho
could run a furrow so straight that it
would break a knock-kneed man's log to
walk in it. This accomplishment was a
kind of frontispiece to a future volume
of agricultural suocodb, and more thnn
one young lady in tho neighborhood had
her eye on the young ctttahi Dick wnun't
bashful, but ho didn't sootn to bo particularly impressed with the Oharms
scattered itt'ottnd hiitt liko falling drops
of *iiter that linger on leafy trees after a
rain. But lie noon mot Ms fat©, a young
lady, Winnie Hogrow. Winnie was a
beautiful girl and oould cover oa much
corn with a hoe, and scrape as much cotton as any man hi tlie neighborhood.
The couplo loved—devotedly, agriculturally. Hogrow had raised his daughter with great care, and now that she
hod attained her zenith of usefulness, it
grieved him to think of losing her. On
Sunday Dick went over, and, going out
whero tho old man was Bhelling corn to
tho pigs, said:
"Mr. Hogrow, I supposo—"
" I don't supposo anything, Bir."
"Well, then, you doubtless know—"
" I don't know anything."
"That's all right, then. I am going
to marry your daughter, and by next
corn-planting you will know something.
Do you weaken, Mr. Hogrow?"
"See here, young feller, I can't afford
to lose my gnl. I havo had powerful
bad luck this season. Tho cut-worms
began on tho corn by the timo it came
ui), and the bugs pitched into the cotton;
and, to mako things worse, mj" best mule
and ouo of my cows got iuto a fight lho
other day. Tho cow hooked tlio mule
and tho mule kicked the cow, until both
of them died. So, under the circumstances, I'd rather you'd marry somebody
else."
"I don't accept your misfortunes as
oicuses.    I'm going to marry the girl."
"I'll tell you what I'll do, Dick, I'll
make this arrangement: We'll wrestlo,
and if you throw mo the girl's yonr'n; if
I throw you she's mino. If you marry
her against my will, I shall xdeasantly
exterminate you. If you throw me and
marry her, tliis farm, together with tho
gid, is your'n. I'll givo throe trials—one
to-day, ono three weok» from now, and
the other six weeks."
Dick was compelled to agroo, although
tho old man was recognized as tho best
wrestler in the country. He had challenged everybody, and had thrown everyone who had accepted After eatuigdin-
ner the old mau announced his willingness to take (lie first ballot. Dick was
willing. Tho contestants, including tho
girl, went into the yard, the girl toak tho
hata and the men grappled each other.
Tho signal was given and Dick went over
tho old man's head nnd plowod a short
|urrow in Uio ground. t . 4 ■    ,
"Givo me my lint," he said to lho girlT
"Don't givo it up," Bho remarked,
handing over his tile.    "Go   away and
d'1}''?!^'1}! cbine to fespect tho aVot'nge
<;WojM""toother ^ jlug |le(m ^^,1 a
?««•»&»>{ the Teace. Tho respect hns
not <§at cropped out to any appreciable
oxte« «««aig tho uogrocs of South Oar-
olin»" Not long junee, in ono of these
pnrafiy «iurts in tliat Stato, tlie Justico
boinja negro', a case was on trial whero
ncglflMlinairwasa witness. The law-
ycr$>Ayere. white, Tliey questioned the
witu** 'nomowhat too closely, os ho
thouRi, »nd ho had to bo told by the
" Jet%ts 'I'tlinl he must answer jpromptly
and fcilyi Whereupon ho said to the
" Coy**," "Look heph, niggoh, I don't
caro Wjahi.'Jjput you ; l'a talkin' to doso
whitejijflft'Jetucil do'.yn here,   You jest
hurfflav  -
ni|'l''"IWii if"1"'t exactly soa what ho
coul -*"
Tdtv
mat1
JJari
ho is
now
tho
in th
tion
be married publicly in front of the j practice." Dick left discouraged", but,
grand stand nt tho Central Michigan fail' I taking the girl'B advice, wrestled with
of Lansing, is one of forty acres of land
in Northern Michi-jan.    Title perfect.
Prof. MacVicab, Principal of tho
State Normal and Training School at
Potsdam, N. Y., has been apx>ointed by
the State Board of Education Principal
of the Michigan State Normal School,
nnd hns accepted, and will enter upon
his duties Nov. 1.
Ed BiuanAM, a  geologist of Battle
! for the next train came. At tho ap-
! pointed timo, Dick appeared at Hog-
[ row's residence.
|     "Feel like  you can cut  yonr capers
; putty well ?" nsked tlio old mnn.
!     "I think so.   I feel  that my eanso is
just,   and,   with   tho aid of kind Providence, I hopo to pile you."
"Providence comes in putty handy it
times," Baid the old man, pulling off 1ub
OtfflAV,
Tho Carccrtif a Funiculi* iiicUiiit Chief.
Chief Ouray, of tho Uto JndianSj iVhoBo
death occurred not long ngo at the Los
Pinos Agenoy, Colorado, was ono of tho
most remarkable of Indian statesmen
since tho death of Black Hawk andB -d
Jacket, »Ho woB born probably within
the present territory of Colorado, some
fifty-five or sixty yeara ago, when that
region nominally bolongod to Mexico,
bnt wnautterly unknown to white men.
^Tho important tribe of Ute», of whioh
lio wns tho most conspicuous individual,
occupied an immense territory, embracing a largo part pf Utah" (which derives
its nomw from tlie tribo) nnd nearly all
of Colorado -wost of the Itocky nionnt-
, Kins.    Tho <;liii;t aettlomonU of tho .Utes
Utim. ■h&_rmrp>m^..ww. *na *m
upper tributaries, tho "Grand,- Otiep,
White, Gunnison and'San Juan rivors.
They nro divided into several bands, under separata chieftains, tho best known
bands being lho Uintah Utes in Utah',
the White Rivet Utes, the Southern
Utes aud tho Uncompahgrc Utes, the
latter being tho most numerqus, and tho
ono to which Ouray belonged. Tho
namo: is derived 'from the range of
mountains whieh they inhabited, and
this probnbly from tho Spanish words
tm compadre, literally "a fejlow-god-
fathor, but colloquially meaning a good
friend. Ouray became acquainted in
early life with some of the Mexicans on
tho northorn confines of New Mexico, traded with them and learned
tho Spanish longuage so as to be ablo to
uso it in conversation. Sinco the settlement of Colorado and Utah by Americans he came into close relations with
many settlers, and was known as tho
white man's friend. Many years ago,
while hunting east of the Bocky mountains, his only child, a boy 12 years old,
was captured by the Sioux, andiB believed to bo still living. This was tho
greatest grief of his life, find ho repeatedly, and not unreasonably, appealed to
the influence of tho " Great Father" at
Washington to secure his return. Since
tho opening of treaty rolationB with his
tribe, Ouray rapidly adopted many of
tho distinctive habits " of civilization.
Though tho greater part of the Utes remained savages, he learned from tho
whites the methods of agriculture, established a farm of sixty acres, on which
he raised good crops and cattle, and
built & comfortable house, and had it
well furnished. Gov. McCook, of Colorado, made him a present of a handsomo
carriage, and, with a stylish team aud
a Mexican driver, he waa able to "os-
tijnish tho natives " by liis magnificence.
Being a natural diplomatist,^io scon
learned tho secret of communicating his
views by writing te the Indian Department or directly to tho President, and
used to sign his namo to such letters as
he caused to bo written. He mado at
loost threo visits to Washington, being
received with proper attention. His efforts to avert war last year iu connec-
4i6n«.with .tlio.Meeker^Miurder„.by- lho
Whites^Bwr-Ut^s, hi4appoiutmont-as a.
Pence" Commissioner along with ono Or
two whito men, hia eloquent speeches
on tho grievances of hia tribo, his visit
to Washington lost winter, and his appearance beforo tlio Committeo ou In
ick". Graftt as-a Financier.
GofiOranl's election to tho ProBidoncy
of a Bigiing company istho outgomo"of a
long-p$Micd Bchftjflo, upoif 'tho part oi
Ulys^a(:Gra)it, jr., ijr HBuck" Grant, as
1 - -'-   ;enerally called   Buck Grant is
onty-eight years old,-and ono of
*-| successful financiers of his ngo
"uhtify.    His talentin thnt direc-
Ijheeti, fully brought ont during
tho lw two years. During tho closing
days ijf-his father's Presidency ho acted
as P||Xato Secretary. Grant doubted
every'j&tie about him when JSnbcook fej]i
and ^<|dd not allow any ono but Buck
to ha>$p access to to his private papers.
Buck j*4s at this time modest, smooth-
faced,,*iediiim-Bized, slim in figure and
very i|msh looking. Bis modesty and
ahilitjVhowever, mado him many friends.
SomBsfeworfuliaen'in New York took np
BucltjpheU hiB father Bet out for Europo.
YonngPlysses, who is a-graduateof Harvard, ftought his future was to bo developed if-the legal profession. Ho was,
after amission to the bar, assigned to do
duty if^he United States District Attorney's office in New York. There Secretary Jglin Sherman has thrown special
business in his way. Buck Grant, after
accuhlllpting a small capital under
influenzal and powerful auspices, began
making ventures in Wall streot. Ho
Bucceeled so well that he abandoned the
law fot|moro profitable fields of apecu-
lationA Becoming interested, finally, in
niinintsfltocks, he paid a yisit to tho Pacific oqasfc, wliere the great boua.nza firm
of Plodd & O'Brien took him under its
wing, | Mr. Flood tassed young Buck «
few points, and he made such a good use
of thon|that Ihe great speculators backed
young (Ulysses in hia cruise around tha
world M speculation, acting as his mentor at (frery point. Tho docile pupil bo
madoifce o{ his skillful training that at
tho eiii of' two years he hnd §300,000
placedio his credit. It waa only when
this sian jjvns reached that tho yonng
man >ifiop|>sed a matrimonial allianco
with tl»igfi5ftt firm, Buck has now as-
socittWMWith3<iBi Mfe:piw.taeB4iiSE!»iroUi<fc 1
tolieejnie one Of tho most brilliant operators in the country. Besides tho fortuno
that he has made for himself ho has mado
soveral special speculations for his father.
JiiBt beforo Gen.  Grant went to Mexico, ^
he intrusted to Buck Graut §25,000 for j dian Affairs will bo remembered by our
the purposo of seeing what could bo done j readers.
j Creek, leaves about the 1st of October j coat, "but it's a harder matter "to buck
| for South America  and   West Indies. [ agin an old slaker,
He wilt make esUnsivo collections for
    __..    the musL'um of the Advent College in
pink petals) she burst into a'passiou of i Battle Creek, and for thc Olivet and Al-
tenrs. Po.ir Joe, utterly nmazed at such ! I 'ion colleges. He made a similar trip
a reception of so paltry a gift, started to   about a year ogo.
her, then stole aoftly from the room and j TnE jfichigan Soldiers' and Sailors'
stood guard outside to prevent in- . Mtmument Association, at its annual
truders Like the smitten rock at 11H.etiDg ^-elected the officers. The
H.-reb, the tears burst through tho icy Trt>asll|er rPp„rtcd that money to fur-
wall that was gradually forming round lsh f ljerJic bronze, 8tntues, to comber heart, and when the flowei-s wins- , , fe tl d ; Clf the Bm]p{or Rlm.
pored to her of Millard s solemn "I will ^ j , Ko ers°,vftsin linml alJd th'n'u the
w-ait for you always, t'le white blossoms 0J"t ^)uM accordiglybe com-
of hope sprnng mto bloom. ' °J
"It was nil wrong," she whispered, in
return; "I wandered into tho wrong
pathway, and my palace car of ambition
has only brought mo to tho gates of discontent, but I will go homo and begin
over again, trusting to Heaven and my
awakened hoart this time."
Itwas hard to tear herself away from
her business engagements nud duties,
harder still to persuade her uncle that
he could certainly spare her a while, and
thnt sho really needed a rest; but her
indomitable energy enabled her to accomplish them all, and ono week later
found her sitting on tho old, familiar
porch gazing at the lovely scone before
her and listening to a perfect tirade of
gossip from her mother's only sister,
who now lived at the farm. Marjorie
wns longing to ask for one old friend in
particular, yet something in her heart
choked back his nnmo, and she sat wondering nt her own reticeuce. and why
Aunt Lizzie did not speak of tlie minister,-when two figures camo through,
tho littlo wicket gate and up to the
porcch, where she now rose to welcome
her guests.
"Miss Melrose," said Willard Lester
—for one of them was, indeed, he—" I
am most happy to welcome you onco
more to D., where, I assure you, you
have always been missed ;" then, turning to his companion, ho continued, "I
hope you will need no introduction to
my wife, whom you once knew as Annie
Leigh."
For one moment the earth seemed |
slipping from under Marjorie's feet, and
the fair landscape looked black before
her startled eyes; but, beforo Mr.
Lester's voice died away, the womon of
the world greeted his wife in her calm,
clear voice and most winning smile.
Marjorie stayed tw04 weeks at Apple-
dale farm, ana then, iu spite of '.their
remonstrances, went back to her old life
and work. To her aunt's pleadings and
Willard'a arguments, who pointed out to
her the good sho could accomplish in the
village with her wealth, energy and
culture, she mado only one Teply.
" Busy myself as I will, the range of
action seems monotonous and confined.
I began too soon to draw around mo tho
large circle of literature and action, and
tho small sphere open to me inD. seemB
n sad going back in life. No,* tho wanderer's ban is again upon me,  and I
ccordingly
pitted this winter.
A man of the name of Harmer was in
Sagiuaw, the other day, looking after a
lose wife. He hod not seen her for tho
past twelvo months, having been iu the,
woods scaling logs. He finally found
her living with another man, whom she
claimed was her husband. She said Bhe
obtained a divorce from Harmer, was living very comfortable with her present
husband, and had no desiro to havo anything to do with her first love. Harmer
did not seem to take the matter to heart
much, but left her to her nowhoppines3.
A few days ago George Howard, of
Portage, left at Wortley's jewelry store
whit appears to be one of the most interesting relics of the olden time we have
seen. Mr. Howard says he plowed it
up while turning furrows on ono of the
highest points of his farm, and the
articlo shows the scratch of the plow
point. It is a very handsomely finished
instrument of petrified wood, sharp
pointed nt ench ond nnd having a finely-
Wrought hole in tho center, evidently
for a handle. It is five and one-half
inches long, four and three-quarters
inches in circumference at ita largest
swell, and in color closely resembles
black walnut, while it is ns smooth as if
polished. The hole, through the center
is ono and three-eighths inches at its
largest, aud as finely cut as if done by
the best modern lapidaries. If this is a
relic of tho prehistoric age it is marvel-
ously well clone and well preserved. —
Kalamazoo Telegraph. •
with it." Buck Grant, during the absence
of his father, cleared for him from tho
capital Boino 810,000; so Gen. Grant, upon
his return, found a dispatch placing §05,-
000 at his disposal by his thrifty son.
Wilh this profitable speculation added to
his credit, Gen. Grant is worth to-day iu
the neighborhood of $180,000, This latest mining scheme of Buck Grant's in
Eating X,emoiis.
A good deal has been Baid through tho
papers lately about tho healthfidness of
lemons. Tlie latest advice as to how to
uso them so they will do tho most good
runs as follows: ' "Most people know
tho benefit of lemonade before breakfast,
but few know how it is more than doubled
by tailing another nt night, also. Tho
way to got the better of a billious system without bluo pills or quinine, is to
tako tho juice of ono, two or three lemons, as tho appetite craves, in as much
ice-water na makes it pleasant to drink,
without sugar, before going to bed. In
the morning on rising, or at least half
an hour beforo breakfast, tako the jnice
of ono lemon in a goblet, of water.
ThiB will clear Uio system of hnmora and
acrer a oan is ngain upon um, unu jl i bile, with mild efficacy, without any of
must turn again to the land of excite-1 tho weakening effects of calomel or con-
ment." gress water.   People should not irritate
Her city friends saw no chango in | the stomach by eating lemons clear; the
their queen, when she was again among J powerful acid of the jnico, which is al-
them, except, perhaps, the lines about j most corrosive, infallibly produces infln-
her mouth woro a trifle deeper and lho 1 mation after a while, but properly di-
Bhadow in her wonderful eyes n shade luted, so that it does not burn or draw
denser and more impenetrable than be- tho throat, it does its full medicinal work
fore. "But," they argued, " of course without harm, and when the stomach is
Marjorie had beon inexpressibly bored clear of food has abundant opportunity
by that duty yisit to hor aunt; she would • to work ou tho system thoroughly."
Get outen yer jacket.
If I {nil, the gal and tho farm is your'n.
Four hundred acres, and all under fence.
Gal weighs one hundred and fifty pounds.
Big inducements." The two men grappled, and again Dick plowed up the
earth.
"Don't give up," said the girl.
"No,"said the old mau, "for thelaud
is under fence, and tho gal weighs ouo
hundred aud fifty—can handle a hoe
wonderful!"
"Dick went away and pondered. It
was evident that the old man could throw
him every time. To lose the girl was to
wTeck hia life. An idea struck him. Ho
smiled. Ho left the neighborhood and
remained until the time for tho third fall
was nearly up. On the oiipoiuted day
he visited tho old man.
"Ihave agreed to everything," said
Dick, " and now I ask a favor. Hitherto
I have been embarrassed. Let the final
trial take place to-night in the dark. I
will meet yon hero at 10 o'clock."
"Any -waj suits me," replied the old
man; "I'll meet you anywhere."
At 10 o'clock tho old man stood iu tho
yard chuckling. His combatant climbed
the fence and approached. Without exchanging a word the two men grappled.
Tlie struggle was Bhort. The old man
went up into tlie air, camo down and
struck the ground with a forco that
almost took his lifo. Ho lay for a moment almost unconscious, Dick raised
him up and assisted him into the houBe.
"Tho gal and the farm ia yonr'n," said
tho old mnn, and the young couple embraced each other. Tho iioxt day they
wore xaatxigd, SHftrUarlitffcori.;A&«v4«iQr«*tf1.:
mony wns over, a large negro man appeared at tho door, and, attracting Dick's
attention, Baid : "I wants my §10. I
flung the olo man hard 'nongh to kill
him. Where's my money?" Dick gave
him §10, and, turning around, received a
searching look from the old man. "I'll
explain,' said tho bridegroom. "Beal-
izing thatl couldn't throw you, and at
thc same timo realizing that my happiness depended upon this marriage, Ire-
sorted to a bit of treachery." Hero he
stopped to buckle his armB around his
wif e. "I found a big negro that I knew
could throw you, and offered him §10.
That's why I wanted the wrestling to take
placo in the dark. After ho had thrown
you, I rushed forward and raised you
up."
When Dick had finished, the old man
looked at him for full fiveminutes, and remarked: "Itwas a mighty mean trick,
but the farm and gal aro your'n. Four
hundred acres under fence, and the gal
weighs ono hundred and fifty."
Humors of tho Law.
Good from Maine. Tho following,
from a friond in Banger, is qiute too
good to bo lost:   A year or two ago a
case waB on trial herebefore Judgo ,
in which a certain horse-doctor was a
witness. The doctor was on tho stand,
and answered the questions addressed to
him in a very low and indistinct voice.
Ho was repeatedly asked to speak louder,
but continued his mumbling tones, to
tho great annoyance of his questioner.
Tho Judge interrupted, and, addressing
the lawyer, said, "Mr. , you must
really excuse the doctor; his long experience in tlie sick-room has mado it
his Beefrad nature to Bpoak low."
The time may arrive, but it will be in
tlio far by-nnd-by, wl}«n  tho average
an lummy tn-ueuiu *>i xmun *.i»iun r> m , urera,    wuoso     present    annual    biuu
plocingjiis father at thehead of tho San j amounts to over 150,000 dozen, though*-
Champagne.
Dhampagno is a modern wine. The
sparkling beverage now so extensively
known is a comparatively recent discovery. Its origin hardly dotes beyond the
eighteenth century; and oven iu 1780
Moet and Chandon, tho chief manufacturers,   whoso     present    annual    sale
Pedro Company, is based upon a plan of
the youthful Ulyssis to realize the wildest dreams of Monte Christo. The union
of the Grant and FIwhI families is to be
followed byan aggregation of wcnlth that
will mako tho families among the most
formidable in point of influence in this
country.
A 'Gaitor Story.
A month later I visited Lako Jessup
with  Judge Emmons,   of Jacksonville.
Tho judge was a wonderful marksman,
as full of fun as a magpie; but ho was
getting old, nnd his eyesight was failing.
One day wo killed a monster on the edge
of a marshy canebroke.   Ho had splendid teeth, and tho judgo wanted to Be-
curo them ob mementoes.   The painter
of the boat was lied to the reptile's leg,
and we towed him across on arm of the
lako to solid ground.   A small ax was
borrowed from tho houso of a  "crnekcr"
near by, nud we concluded to decapitate
tho prize, boil tho head and remove the
teeth.   Tho body was   so largo that we
could not draw it npon tlie. shore.   A
stake was  cut  nnd pointed and driven
through the jaws of the reptile, pinning
him into the mud.    The water was probably two fectrdeep.   The judgo drow out
a sheath knife, and was about to mako
an incision when he was cautioned by a
barefooted negro who stood on the bank
watehingthe operation with curious eyes.
"Bettor git shut o' dat ah gatah, shuah,"
said he; "'twellho bo dono gone dead."
"Oh.igoodLord," exclaimed tho judge,
"he'sjween dead sin hour.    If ho was
|j4i*»fePP yon. reckon hoV\ allow us to drive
a stakaf through him."   "No gatah am
dead  till  do Bim am gono down," the
dorkoy observed.     Tho judge laughed
and passed me tho knife.   I inserted tho
blade in a bullet holo near the shoidder,
and out a gash iu tho flesh, following the
trend in the diamond-shnped scales beneath tho skiii.   Judge Emmons stood
near tho monster's tail.   The knife penetrated  the   quivering   flesh,  and   was
stained with blood.    As quick; aa a flash
tlio tail shot from  tlio water and the
judge was knocked fully ten feet.   The
reptile raised his head, stake and all, and
Bailed out iuto tho lake liko a submarine
battery.   JndgoEmmons losthis glasses,
but was fortunately unhurt.    Tho incident, however, convinced  him   that it
was dangerous to fool with a dend alligator until after sundown.—Florida Correspondent of tJia iV. Y. Sun.
it a bold venture to have mndo 0,000
j bottles in the yenr. Tho roynl moiina-
; tery of St. Peter, in Hautvilliers, gavo
j to tho world a monk named Perignon,
who whs the original discoverer. HiB
' chief duty was to tako charge of the ex-
i tensive vineyards of the monastery, to
I receivo tho eleventh barrel of all the
1 wino mado in the district, and to mako
' the wino of tho establishment. "Dom
! Perignon, born a taster, _ nnd streugth-
I ened by constant practice, became so
j expert that, when in the decline of life
j he was blind, no ouo of his holy breth-
j ren, even with the aid of his eyes, could
compete with him as a judge of wine."
Dom Perignon, says an old chronicler,
being blind toward tho eud of his life,
ordered the grapes of difl'erent vineyards
to be brought to him, recognized each
kind by the taste, and said, "You must
marry (mix) tho nine of thiB grax>e with
the other." Li tho course of his wine-
mixings and experiments, tho worthy
Dom discovered tho effervescing wine,
now known as champagne. The secret
was, however, kept to himself, and tho
wino for the brotherhood, Bending, however, an occasional bottlo to tho King.
Dom Perignon is said to havo died m
tho full odor of sanctity, gratefully remembered by his convivial and holy
brethren, and his namo shoidd bo embalmed in tho memory of everyone within the sound of a pop of the champagne
bottle. Among Ins other virtues, heavenly and terrestrial, tliero is not only tho
discovery of champagne, but that of tlio
oork, which ho was tho first to pnt
into a bottle, for, before his time, tho
only stopper used was a bunch of flax
soaked in oil.
Bnlls.
It wns a Chicago reporter who wroto :
"They Qred two shots at him ; tho first
lulled him, but tho second wns not
fatal." A French writer, and not nn
Irish, made this bull: "In tho death
of Monsieur Thiers, Franco is widowed
of her noblest son." Thnt was a first-
class bull mado by an English Bishop,
who Bnid of somo ono that ho had re^
nounced the errors of Popery for those
of Protestantism. It was a Kansas politician who said of liis party "that thoy
weto prepared to bnrn thoir ships, and
with overy sail unfurled steer boldly
out into the ocean of freedom." Mixed
ond magnificent ns tho imagery is, it
does not approach that of the Austrian
Minister of Justice who, iu 18-18, declared at Vienna, that "the chariot of
tho Bovolution was lulling arouud and
gnashing its teeth ns it rolled I"—*. S.
COK'H " 11% )Vc Laugh."
flow Industry. •
Under tho postal laws, if yon spoil a
stamped wrapper or envolopo you can
have it redeemed at ite face value at tho
postoffice. When postal cards wero introduced Postmostera wero instructed to
redeem such as wero spoiled beforo using
at tho rato of 4, centa in stamps for every
5 cents in face valuo of the cards. Many
postal cards are spoiled in printing, others in direction, whilo many printed
cards are simply unused. These can all
be charged at the rate mentioned. A
stranger appeared at the Louisville post-
office, io-st week, with 1,000 or 2,000 of
these postal cardspor day for several dayB
in succession. Tho cardB were redeemed,
but there wero so many tho stamp-clerk
inquired,tosatisfy liis curiosity, where tho
stranger got them. He said ho was buying tliem up at tho various business
houses, paying 40 and 60ceuts per 100
for useless cards. Sometimes he paid
as high an 60 cents, and offered ono firm
70 cents for a large lot, but it was refused. He had evidently been oxioratmg
in Indianapolis recently, ashohadalarge
number of cards -with indionnpolis firms
printed ou them. During tho three or
four days here he presented 5,000 or
6,000 for redemption, and mado a profit
of about 825.—Louisville Post,
Chinese Etiquette.
The Mnrquis Tseng, Ohinose Plenipotentiary, when ho arrived at Berlin,
went tlirough some odd courtesies with
Li-Fong-Poo, tho Chinese Ambassador
to Germany. On arriving ot the hotel,
tlie two gentlemen began their formal
Asiatic salutations. They folded their
hands, fell cn their knees, and threw
themselves on the ground wilh out
stretched arms. Tho mombers of the
two embassies saluted eaeh other in tho
samo Manner, and thon they nil ex-
olutligcd thoir visiting cords, whieh are
strip-i of fed pttper a foot long and a half
a foot broad.
Tho Village Hotel Veranda.
Aftor supper we march into the office
in Indian filo, arm ourselves with poplar
toothpicks, and then all march out aud
tako Beats on tlie hotel yoTanda and hold
a convention. Ifyou havo never token
part in ono of these gatherings 'ofi the
veranda of a villagehotelyouhavo missed
it good thing. Tlio audience' includes
QVcry phono of human noturo.
The discussion usually opens between'
the village blacksmith iind "n farmer, apd
it.ntaytaati *he'\YO»tt«oiv-„     ^ Z- ; -" "**
ITlioljlackidCit)! "meiSHa'tntiit %'bave
had too mufth rain. Tho. fnnner can't
ngroo. The undertaker, "who lUKKb to
fniin it, then joins in^Srith#h%«i;eip»rit;;(
that lie haa.^ea^,*^es^piUB*'wifen»wb Jind7'
TfioiS rnif),* and seasqis wheil'wo didn't
hrtve as much. This calls out the shoemaker, who can remember one year when»
il didn't rain from thp'20th of: Mirech |o-
the 1st of October, Whil,o.h'e is.tiying.
to remember whtit'ypor'it Was,'thq cooper
tilts bock liis chair nnd asserts that he
can distinctly recall a year in whidh. it
rained everyday from tho 1st of May to
tho middle' of November. Ho Can remember it all tho moro distinctly because
his father believed that a second deluge
was coming, ond spent two months'trying to mako a watertight Noah's ark of
the horso bnrn. Ho can't tell tho exoct
year without footing it a distance of s|x
miles to examine somo old documents
but rather than have his word disputed
he would willingly go to that trouble.
No ono doubts him, howover, and ho sits
down to givo room to. tho man who«p
three-year-old colt has been impaled on
a fenee-stako, ond who wants a cure for
tho wound. Ho followB n discussion on
horses,- lasting fifteen minutes, aud it is
abont to cross thc line aud take lipinules
when au old man spits over the heads of
three boys iu line and says:  ,
"I'don't know much about hosses, but
if I had one, and he should drive a fence-
stake clear through bifli, I believe I should
grease the stake and pick off tho slivers
before I pidled it out! I tell ye, horses
can't stand everything, no moro'n a mau
oan." . .
Whatever new discussion might be
created by this bold assertion is barred
by the appearance of a villager who made
the trip to California in overland days.
No one knows just Iioav much money he
brought back. The estimate runs all thc
way from two shillings to §20,000, but
he is disoreetly silent as to thp exact
amount. Thero is ono thing certain,
however. He killed upward of fifty Indians, o dozzen grizzly bears, and over n
hundred buffiidos while ho was gone, and
thot settles the questioji of his beyig en-
tilled to command the parade ou tha
Fourth of July.V%movc is about to be
ndfeiajlraw him out gn 2rfid.,Wcs.ternJ
!enes,_wTien somebody suddenly recbl
bint"of death. Everybody seems to feci
bod for a moment, and then it is remembered how he mado his wife go barefooted
in winter, lent money ot fourteen p*r
cent, and whipped a yoke of steers to
death, and the tido slowly turns. There
iB ono question, however, on wluch all
aro agreed. Uncle Jerry, during his
palmy days, once shouldered a barrel of
cider and carried it forty rods.
" Yet, and I seed him do it," sighs the
old mon behind me, "Fact of it was, it
was all on my account, and I beat him
pretty bad. I wos up to Fuller's cider-
mill arter a barrel of the sweet, when
Uncle Jerry came along with a bouncing
three-year-old steer. We got to bantering, and wo fiuolly agreed that if I could
lift his steer I was to have him, and he
wasto havo the eidcrif he could shoulder
it. Idon'tkeerto brag around now iu
my old age, but I think I lifted that steer
without even growin' red hi the face. Undo Jerry turned as wliite asnsheet, audi
thought he'd fiunt away, but he stuck to
his word ond I took the steer hum. He
got a heap o' credit all over the county
for liftiu' that cider, and nover let on that
I lifted the steer, and that's ono thing
I've kinder laid up agin the old man."
Then tho next man lies about the number of crows he sow in Kansas, and so we
go until it is sharp 10 o'clock and the
mosquitoes begin to hunger for evening
lunch. Thon tliey bid each other goodnight and separateto meet aud lie again.
—M. Quad,
In Iceland.
Tho main difficulty in Icelandic traveling is to find ground firm enough to
bear a horse and" his rider, and the safest
track is often along the sea-beach, where
that is available, or even in the bed of a
stream. Water is everywhere, and the
travdor constantly crosses fords, either
in the river whoso courso ho is following, or through torrents rushing down
from tho field on either side. The pass
over which wo had to ride is about 1,500
feet high, and in the month of June the
"divide" was still blocked with snow.
This snow was hard enough to bear a
man or a pony, but in many places it
woidd givo way beneath thom, when
both On the Bamc Bet of feet, and in consequence the Captain and I did n good
deal of walking. The old guido, however, Btuck to his steed, excex>t when
obliged to cross a torrent on a precarious bridgo of snow, and they managed
to flounder triumphantly through all
difficulties. An Icelander in riding uses
neither whip nor spur, but works his
firms and legs perpetually liko tlio sails
of a windmill, and can thus keep his
pony moving at a pace which leaves Uio
foreigner far in tlio rear. On tho quiet
waters of tho fjord tho cider ducks wero
taking their newly hatched broods for a
first swim, and as wo scrambled up tho
fjeld, tho cook ptarmigan fluttered nnd
croaked over our hends, nccording to his
habit when tlio hen is sitting upon eggs.
The region of forests, represented by-
dwarf birches and whortleberries, is soon
left behind, and near the siunmit of the
pass thoro ia hardly any vegetation of a
higher order tlutn Icelandic moss, whilo
tho bore rocks oro profusely marked
with striations from glaciers that hnvo
longsinco di$appeored.—Thc JMne.teen4h
Century.
A Lost Occupation.
Tlie Hon. John Wentworth comprehends tho present condition of politics.
He says thot the newspaper has made
thc orator a thing of the post, ond destroyed tho usefnluesB of mass meetings
and other clap-trop accessories or campaigns. Aud why? Simply because
tliey present tlio arguments of parties
if they aro party journals, or tho facts if
tho newspapers aro independent, and
the reader is enabled to decide for him-
Belf, uninfluenced by appeals to his passions ond uncontrolled by tho personal
magnetism of orators. .Tho voter, having become a reader, is also a thinker.
As a thinker he rises superior to demagogues and Ibeir too}?,
£&
WHO ARK FMlIKNIJVr
BY MISfl JtMMA MBMWETIIEU,
Frlcndu, liuUcl, wlio oro tliey, pray J
Do Ihey como to in on llmilnrkcsl. iluy7
Dj tliuy llKlit*1!! II o loud t/liuu we are wenry? -
Edna worde ol CQinfurt wlion nil i»cm» dreary\
Po they prcflur aii) |o )e&on Our (a^k?
■Ale Ihey willing-to Wvt*nMh»f.wiw.»©.«&?-. .-.. .
And -when ittto'a ngimiat »», trouljloi endured,
Every my of Buutriiiuc completely ohscurod,
Do thoy come to n» then, ln I bat hour nllrlnl,
And provu Iheir fincerlty hy true bcIMimiIhI?
By deeds not word-1, rIvc evidence of worth,
Tuut our grief, though great, mny die ut its birth J
Ah! fow such frlendinre found (n the land,
Ever willing to lend thnt helping band.
To lift the fallen, nnd eiuccrliy i;Ti[ice
Tp the high or lcm-born, prawnt or prints.
PH'ir ANI) POINT.
Tue Chinese plank—Ah ironing board.
A lur in a trap does not believe in lho
cnrly-closiug movement.
Tub dancing master is always taking
steps to improve his. bUBin- bh,
Isn't it queer that contractors should
bo employed to widen streets ?
" Oi' all similoBr *a cloud no bigger
than a man's hand' corriesoff tho palm."
Ooi/umbos mode on egg stand; but
Italians of less renown havo mado tho
peonut stand. _ '    '  "
Bortai,Aii8 never wait for- on opening
in their business. ' They go lo work at
onco and mako an opening.
. Bro you over know .a man who talked
much of himsolf wlio did nothova apoor
subject Ui his conY(5rsation.?
A aup.A'r many men are cottage-built;
that is to tay, they: havb but quo story.
And thoj nreforeyer-tellwii jfc:~ ^" ;   *   x
■ political excitement.    Wo  bupposa tlie
loro'ho rend tho madder lie got. ■
A siKfftjB'Ateumber engraved upoS ti
Ltlhjd's tftmlf iii Oftentimes moro expressive t\u\n te^ lines of obituary poetry.
; "Ahe yOji lost,  my  little   fellow?"
ilsked   a  gentleman   of    a  4-year-old.
, No," ho sobbed in reply;, "b-butmy
iliother is." • .'.'.*
Sosle ono has charged .Tennyson with
plagiarism. We have long suspected
the !'• laureate hns-'been-remodeling tho
fugitive pQcms of -tho- Sweet Singer of
Michigan. , , ' Zy t '
Ip you, was a man, ,Tinftnj|"'Bnid nr
littleshovei to.his chiim,-"5vJS§f*woiild
you vote for, Hancock .or.^jjfi[ield ?"
"I'd go with tho biggest pWRession,
you bet."     _ i|
Tra'following advertisement appeared *•
ill nirlrlsh: newspaper:    "This is to no   •
tify Patrick O'PJaherty, who lately left
his, lodgings, that if ho does not return
aopn nud pay for tho same ho shall bo
advertised."
Suininer-Umc will come again,
With ItH wifUy-blowIng zephyre,
Lowing klu« are tn tbo tieldti;
Bofhenro eotva mid nomo aro beifera.
s-Tciivuittni.   .
Mani physicians claim that intemperance is' a disease. It must bo contagious, then ; at any rate, a mau who
gets drnijk filially catches it when ho
goes home. There may appear to bo
somo littlo discrepancy or contradiction
here, but we can't stop for that now.—
llunlclte.
'' Oji,.look at thc donkey I he's been
destroj ing that hill of com I" exclaimed
Mrs. Suburban, iu dismay. "Confound him !" Baid the husband, flinging
a stick at the animal, "he's a corn-summit ass!" The scream that Mrs. S.
omitted, previous to going off in a faint,
frightened the beost more than her husband's stidc.—Boslmi 'J'runscript.
"Aiwyou'an Odd Fellow?" "No,
sir ; I have been married moro thon a
Week." "I-meon do you belong to the
Order of Odd Fellows?" "No; I belong* to tho order of married men."
" Mercy, how dull"!" "Afo youn MnBon?"
!-*MJo*5 i-am a ■cfcwKiBter.J*    '' Worse and
, -!*■      -
'&
^•^*.*,
totttorpwos^^
ling.'
Spinster landlady: "Then you and
your mamma want tho samo rooms you
had Inst yenr?'1 Young lady: "Yes,
Miss Spnggins, ouly it isn't mamma
who is with mo, but my husband ; I'vo
got married since last year." Spinster
landlady: " Lor, now, have you ? I'm
glad to henr it. Yet, after all, I don't
know why I should be glad; you nover
did me any harm, poor thing."
A man in Scott comity, Ky., was
butted in the pit of tho stomach by a
mountain ram ou his place. He was
badly hurt, and a physician was sent
for. Tho latter arrived and asked hiin
how he felt. He replied : " I am ready
for death, but I don't like to die Hub
Wfiy. I wouldn't mind being kicked to
death by o throughbred horse or gored
to death by a Durham bull, but I can't
stand thc idea of being butted into eternity by a niountaiu ram I"
I vk ilincd till I'm weary of dinners;
I've waltzed myfc-elf quite cut of breath;
I've flirted witb Nilnta and with i-lnnera;
I'\e dre'fpd inj'fc f nearly to death.
I've fallen in pnsturen and i>oeei»,
To please sad-faced maidens intense;
•I'\e well nlRh been rniothered in roec*,
Collected at (rightful expeiife.
In short, to tbe b*ej,t of my knowledge^
No duty tier p ensure I've shirked,
And since I wi.h craiumiitg ct college
ila^ never so haruly been worked.
A PH05HNENT citizen of Galveston was
brought home very late iu a comotoBO
condition. His terrified wife, thinking
it was apoplexy, sont for tho lamily
physician. The doctor examined tho
potent carefully, and then directed thot
tho clergyman be sent for. In a few
minutos the spiritual adviser was bend-
tag over the couch of the dying man.
Finally the clergyman said : " Why, ho
is drunk I that's what's the matter.
Why om I sent for here at 12 o'clock at
night?" "Do you suppose," rei>lied
tho doctor, " that I nm going to be the
only fool on Galveston island?" That's
tho story they tell.
A Luckless Tramp.
Somo time ago a tramp got into the firo
box of a stationory engine that was being
shipped on a flat car to the Pacific coast
ByBomo freak of misfortune to him "a
careful brakeman closed the furnace-door
on him, and tha solitary picnicker was
alono with his conscience and a few
friends that hod come along with him to
represent tho Notional Bug Bureau.
At first ho thought it was a joke, and
ho laughed a smothered, hysterical
laugh, but as the hours drugged on ond
he didn't know whether it wos day or
night or whether it was tho Fourth of
July or eternity, he concluded to attract
tho attention of the outsido world, bo he
pounded on the inside of his cage till his
arms ached. Ho might as well have
tried to get out of a fire and burglar proof
safo with a corkscrew.
Ono day, through curiosity, a railroad
boy opened tho door of the engine furnace ond looked in. The broad sole of
on old boot was turned up at tho door,
and the brakeman took hold of it and
snatched it out. It was followed by on
attenuated' piece of humanity, that rattled around on the cor like on old umbrella.
Tlio bystanders reviewed him and
asked him if ho didn't feel hungry. Ho
Baid he did. feel a kind Of goneness in tho
gastric regions.
An old man, who was thon acting treasurer of the Irish Belief Fund, took tho
job of filling him up. That is tho reason
why Ireland missed tho beneficial effects
of the relief fund-for sovoral mouths, at
n time when she needed it worst—-Denver Tribuwx
'.:Jw«»*^p
A oiqak contaius ncetio, formic, butyric, valeric, and propriouio acids,
prussio acid, creosote, carbolic acu1., ammonia, sulphuretted hydrogen, pyridine,
virodiuo, pieolitie, and nlbidene, to Say
nothing of cabbagino and burdocldo
dcid. Thot'B why you can't get a goods
Ohe for less than thi'e? penis,
——„_ ^^--^HiifilifiiTlrfr
MaamimswWsmim